Interesting stories, but its hard to believe that men don't know when they've been cruel. I do. Maybe they just don't want to reveal that to Lisa and the readers here. Of course, women tend to reveal more of themselves when they're comfortable, and maybe women tend to feel more at ease with Lisa and this forum than men? Who knows? Most sexual cruelty is psychological rather than physical. Is it that women take sex on more of a psychological level than many men? Hard to say, and too easy to generalize. Sexually, I've been both destructive and have been destroyed. I was cruelest with my first wife (very young, both of us) and was humiliated best by one of her friends...as I should have been. Back then, sex 'proved' everything and everything hung on sex. It was so easy to be destroyed in that vulnerability that the cruelty was virtually self-inflicted.

llc is cruel when she only writes 192 words and "interviews" other people instead, and then gets all pissy when people call her on it...

Great story. It took me back to my early mean sheet days when i wholeheartedly pursued engaged bride-to-be's. Still can't believe it was my thing. Nice break in the day.

Dear Tony: That picture was taken after Husband and I had a fight and then we had sex and the sheet came off and then the MATTRESS came off (but not my clothes, oddly enough). He took this picture about one second after it was over, and I forgot to stay mad. But sure, we can change the photo. As for your relationship ... hm. How old are you?

The meanest for me to date was with someone who I'd been, I guess you could say platonicly courting for some months, friends for over a year and possibly soulmates. I was in love with her for months, we spent a lot of time together, at least on the phone for hours every evening if we weren't together doing something. On the evening she came over for me to cook dinner and for us to watch "Henry & June" together (she suggested the video) I motioned to kiss her and she got up and literally ran out of my place. Later, she told me she began seeing someone else earlier in the week.

Ike: I responded to Tony's initial feedback, and when he wrote in that he didn't mean it to be public, someone in Nerve kindly took his first thing down.

Mine was when I experienced anal sex for the first time, it was raunchy, painful, and messy but after the first complicated entry into my anus it was blissful (I even let him come in my anus!) I bled and came too!

i had a boyfriend i didn't like very much once. he had been with his previous g/f for 7 years cheated on her constantly. he told me about how he got her to have threesomes even though she wasn't into it and now he wanted one from me. one night we went out with another couple and i sort of hinted that at the end of the evening we were all going home together. he had been insisting on having a 3 some with myself and another girl. what he didn't know is that the other male and i had been conspiring against him. 3/4's of the way through the evening i popped the the other girl into a cab and sent her home, telling the b/f she was too drunk. we were now a 3some, but on my terms. we all went home, they were both drunk and i got my b/f very excited and then suddenly "lost interest" i told him the only thing that could please me was to see him and the other man together. he whined and pleaded but eventually relentred. after they were finished (oral sex only) and he fell asleep i went in the other room and fucked the other guys brains out. my boyfriend woke to see me sleeping in the other mans arms and started to cry. i told him to suck it up (like he did the night before-ha!) and we went home. i dumped him on the spot and never looked back.

My attempt at cruelty failed almost comically, which is probably a good thing:
I'd been dating a woman who was truly a nymphomaniac. If you've never been with a true nympho, trust me, it's not everything you might hope for. The constant sex, while distracting in a good way, could not mask myriad other behavioural and personality defects. Bottom line, after a few weeks with this woman, I didn't want to share a beer with her, much less a bed.
Anyway, I was young, and hormonally motivated, so against better judgement, I consented to the fairwell fuck. Anyway, during the activity, I'm getting pissed off about having given in to another manic sex romp (imagine!), and she's yammering away at what an ass I am for breaking things off. So as I get progressively angrier, I start fucking her harder. As you would imagine, she thought that was pretty cool - she liked her sex vigorous. So the angrier I am, the harder I'm going, the happier she is, the angrier I get - viscious cycle, you get the idea. Anyway, by the end of this thing, I am bound and determined to find her threshold, and pounding away for all I am worth to try to cause injury. Mind you, I have serious issues with this, given that 2 women whom I hold very dear have been victims of rape. The punch line is that loved the entire experience, and was convinced that this episode was an expression of desire/affection/love, whatever. I had such remorse afterwords not only that I had attempted to hurt someone in the process of an act that I hold sacred, but also because I had failed! A friend in whom I confided commented with admiration "Dude, you hate-fucked her, cool!"

Wow, TS, that goes way beyond anything I think I'm capable of. Update on the Rugby story....Saturday night is their christmas party, and I'm being honored for all that I did for the team...lol...what's really great is that little dick colin is now team president...and he is presenting me with the award. the whole thing has had me laughing for the past two days

My first marriage was a total disater. My husband was a complete "mama's boy" and spent all his free time with her and made all decisions with her. I was looking for an excuse to get out of this marriage, and suspected him of cheating. One fine Sunday he spent the entire day with his mother and sister. I spent the afternoon in bed with a gorgeous African American man. I am color blind but my ex-husband is not. I got home thinking I had enough time to shower but my ex arrived shortly after I did. He talked to me about getting a separation. I immediatley said yes, while thinking divorce. He ran to the phone to call his mommy to tell her I said yes. So when he asked if we could make love one more time I said yes, but he had eat me first. I asked him how I tasted. Before he could answer, I said never mind, I don't feel like having sex right now.

Lisa, that is the first real laugh i ve gotten out of your files for months. what are they doing to you there,,at the magazine,,,fucking your shit??? what the heck happend with you and what s his name,,werent you planning on gettin pregnant? by the way,,i couldnt think of a WORSER thing to do .......love ya,,,jenn

I was the in SF and wanderd into a bar in the castro. Few too many drinks, a little tok and woke up w/ no pants and too many used condoms laying around..walked sort of funny for a few days. I guess that qualifies. I felt a little used but lesson learned and pushed that "bi" fantasy out of my head..

I have my own "sexual cruelty" story. I was 21 and had just broken up with my boyfriend of 5 and 1/2 years, about a month after I met this sexy guy through some friends at a party. I offered him a ride home, we couldn't wait so I pulled over at a park and we started going at it on the car. I was into it at first but I began to think about my ex when we moved to the picnic bench - and it ruined my mood. He started trying everything to get some kind of response out of me (positions, biting,licking, etc.). Finally he asked me to tell him what to do. I violently pushed him away from me and screamed out "You've tried everything and you still can't seem to turn me on! You're sexy, but you're a lousy fuck so lets just go!". I never apologized or told him what was going on with me that night.

i snuck into my sisters bedroom(she & her 3 mo. old baby were out of town) and had sex with a lead singer from a band - we heard my brother and his cronies come in but never stopped. we were drunk and particularly verbal while we were having maniacal one nite stand sex...when we finally came out- my bro and his buddies all stood up and clapped and yelled "oh my god your making me cum" --- my sister's BABY MONITOR had been on and they heard the whole thing in stereo.

Jackie and Erik: Thanks for writing, guys! That wasn't cheesie. I'm happy to hear from you. Emma usually takes mistaken feedbacks off for me. Other Nerve techs, if you're reading this, can you remove those two feedbacks? Thanks!!

Alright, dammit. I'll fess up; when I was twenty I was seeing a girl every now and then who was four years my junior(hey, if you had seen her breasts you would've been tempted too), and one day after fooling around for hours, she finally decided to let me go down on her. I was the first and determined to ruin her for all other mouths. When her parents started knocking to let us know that I had to get a move on if I wanted to catch my train, we tidied up and got to stepping. I was not permitted enough time to hit the bathroom and "freshen-up", so I was escorted from her bedroom door to the car. Her parents seemed none the wiser about or proclivities and if I wasn't sure if they knew, her mother gives me a big kiss on the cheek on the way out the door. My face was still modrately fragrant(okay I'm a sensualist), and I was loving it, but to this day I wonder if her mother knew what the scent on my cheeks REALLY was...

more to come-