The Lisa Files: Mean Sheets

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The Lisa Files by Lisa Carver Mean Sheets
Index |

December 3, 2001

We all know men commit more violent acts. But they’re not the ones thinking about cruelty. It’s we women who pinch the sheets at three a.m., contemplating injustice and plotting revenge. At least, I’ve never caught the men in my bed staring balefully back at my baleful stare in the pre-dawn glow. No, men are peaceful by night. They sleep.


While having at it with her husband, a friend of mine has the recurring fantasy that he isn’t her husband at all, but her lover. Then her “husband” comes home early and catches them. He ties her hands and makes her suck the “lover’s” cock while Husband shoots off Lover’s limbs one by one, till all that’s left is a cock in her mouth. This friend doesn’t have anything against her husband, and if someone did threaten his life, I’m certain she’d risk her own to save him. There’s such a thicket of secretive cruelty in the female mind!


Most of the men polled about their cruelest sexual moment answered: “Uh . . . when I got broken up with?” while the women were quick with detailed histories of their vicious moments.

Lisa Carver is the author of the books Dancing Queen, Rollerderby, The Lisa Diaries and Drugs Are Nice. She’s written for Hustler, Index, Icon, Feed, Newsday and Playboy, among others. She lives in New Hampshire.

Lisa Carver and, Inc.