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December 31, 2001
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December 31, 2001
"Nooo," I groaned, searching in his glove compartment for a second pair of sunglasses to put on top of the ones I was wearing.
I don't believe in "fuck buddies." I think the whole concept is weird. But apparently Lisa Dark is a more accepting soul than I. "For the longest time I couldn't figure out why you two had so carefully deposited the contents of my coffee table onto my couch," read an email from my friend Kate, whose house Just-a-Friend and I had slept at, "since you were totally not in a careful mood when I finally went to bed. Then I realized you guys had crawled under my coffee table and somebody's back heaved the glass up out of it, and that's when everything came off. By the way, do you remember propositioning me?" After that, I switched to Budweiser. As it turns out, three Buds affect me the same as two Jacks. So I put Lisa Dark into retirement, except for once a year, on New Year's Eve. Here is a sampling of other people's glorious non-memories of drunken fucks past.
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Commentarium (19 Comments)
About 28 years ago I woke up next to a lady as confused as I was. We might have had sex, but I doubt it because I'm pretty good about remembering and imagining sex. I think "friends" drugged us up and put us together. She gave me bus fare home. We were all medical students and I think somebodies crossed the line. Something wiped me out, but I didn't choose that. Mickey Finns are not fair. It's one thing to get wasted on one's own time, and it's quite another to be had.
I feel so sad now. "Wally's" tale hit home.
hey i just wanted to share my most interesting alchahol sex experience.
i was 15 and i went to some club. i went to a nice dark alley with a girl i prepositioend drunkenly.
anyway things got a rolling and i thought to myself "hey im finally going to lose my virginity". so i pulled out the equipment and then i passed out.
when i came too i quickly stood up and puked all over her.
I went home from a lake party with a woman who licked the back of my neck--a treatment I highly recommend for curing sunburn. I remember driving my convertible jeep through a country town with my hand in her pants and hers in mine. In bed she sat on me then went to a full squat, riding hard. I was in and out of consciousness during this part except for when I was gritting my teeth. I do recall her saying,"I always get mine first." Luckily I had the proper mix of alcohol and blood to keep me hard but numb.
You look like an old, big, ugly HORSE in that picture. Girl, if you think that's sexy you are WRONG!!
The best sex I don't remember was pretty recent. I went to Exoticon ('cons are bastions of heavy-duty sex, at least for us female folk) in New Orleans and the second night I was there (I don't WANT to remember the first night -it wasn't good) I ended up with a most tasty morsel of young boy-dom.
All I remember is rolling around, being fascinated by his BEAUTIFUL eyes, and him telling me "oh, don't get mad but I'm only 19"
The thing is, it must have been great because two hours after we finished and went downstairs again I went looking for him to do it again.... not my usual policy at 'cons. I was drunk enough that I couldn't find him (turned out he was about 10 feet away from me) and found myself at the hot tub beside the pool instead. The hot tub was surrounded by plants so he couldn't find me either.
I wish I could remember more because seeing those eyes in my memory is just frustrating as hell.
Oh yeah, I also remember my roommate barging in despite the sign on the door and me yelling "GO AWAY!" repeatedly. He came in, paused in the doorway and said "good form. Keep going." before leaving.
mine happened last night. me and my other have always been experimental but when i woke up this morning i took a look around at the debris and this is what i saw: the usual silk scarves, blindfold, vibrator, loads of batteries, a corset, a wig, a push up bra, one broken shoe, a belt (oh thats why my ass hurts..) and my camera. when i checked what was on the digi cam i was sort of surprised to see that i wasn't the one wearing any of those garments in any of the photos! what was even more odd was when i got up to brush my teeth i looked in the mirror and saw that my boyfriend had inexplicably taken ash and given me a monobrow..i can only wonder.
How convenient for me: the best sex I can't remember was just this New Year's Eve. I had two very strong Margaritas and an unknown number of black-and-tans. I was with my fiance, but I spent the evening trying to get into the hot leather pants of a beautiful brunette who looked like Isabella Rossilini. Not an easy feat, since I am a bi-female and this was a VERY straight bar. I kept trying to establish eye contact with her, but instead, her belligerent, drunken hillbilly female friend thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend, and punched me in the mouth. After I beat her skull against a brick wall 8 or 9 times, we were both ejected from the bar. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise. As soon as my man and I checked into the hotel, the alcohol took full effect. I don't remember a thing! I woke up with the mother of all hangovers, turned to him and asked, "Did we do it last night?"
"Oh yeah," he smirked.
"Was I good?"
"Oh, yeah."
Then, I fell back into a deep, comalike sleep until 10 am.
The remainder of the day was spent taking alka-seltzer and ridding my body of the shrimp scampi I had consumed the night before. And for some reason, my biceps were extremely sore. I can only imagine what kind of WWF wrestling hold my fiance had me engaged in!
My most amazing sex I can
Glad to get a chick's perspective and remind me Im not a complete bastard-- In '89 I met a respiratory therapist while camping on Spring river in Arkansas. Our sites were next to each other and I invited her over one night when my buddies and I were regailing late evening arrivals of our floating and drinking exploits. I was already tanked from drinking since 8 am, and I guess I started in quickly with her because we ended up in the bushes around the camp sites with our own bottle. Some where between heavy petting and premature ejaculation, I called out someone else's name. Pissed off, she asked who that was--I said it was my sister. I dont have a sister, but it seemed like the thing to say in order to keep her there. I was suddenly lucid and proceeded to convince her to stay and got it again. To this day I wouldnt know her--even if she was my sister.
The best sex I don't recall was when my boyfriend of 6 years had told me one night the reason he had taken over 4 months to begin sleepng with me and would leave me nightly frusterated and wondering 'why wont this guy sleep with me?' was because he had wanted everything to be perfect. Sex had only been somewhat of what most of the world can only dream about through the ENTIRE 6 years but I have no recollection of that first time. Damn it!
I've h** a STRING of these blurry nights here in the east village. For years, delight, pain and shame have surrounded these events, but now I feel ok. Thanks.
I worked in a restaurant that was open till 4 a.m. Across the street was an old wino hotel. A real dump where every night police made arrests, and ambulance crews hauled out dying drunks and junkies. One night after closing we were cleaning up. It was about 5:30 a.m. when a woman came knocking on our window. We let her in. She had no clothes. She woke up in the hallway of that wino dive. She had no idea where her clothes were, or where the guys she had been drinking with had gone. We let her wrap up in a tablecloth, and she called her mother to come and give her a ride home. Imagine the conversation in that car.
The very first time I had an alcohol blackout, I checked myself into treatment. I've done spur of the moment sex since then, sometimes making regretable choices, sometimes not. But I remember who I did it with. I just want my regular brain to make those choices. I just don't want to wake up where that woman did.
The little brother of a friend of mine had booked some hotel rooms for a Sci-Fi con. We were back from college, feeling goonish and decided to kick the boys out of one of the rooms and take em over for three days of complete debauchery. It was easier than we thought due to having girls who had never heard of a Klingon and treated "Dr. Who" like an Abbot & Costello routine. I remember having several Jack & Cokes, Herbal remedies, a tab of Timothy Leary's best when the very flexible blond girl I brought suddenly placed her leg over my shoulder while standing up. Then I woke up. Everyone treated me like I was the one from outer space. Turned out we fucked in the bathroom, the hotel swimming pool, the jacuzzi next to the swimming pool, & broke a chair while just fuckin around. Little brother and his mates didn't even care about loosing the room given what they saw and heard.
Wow...I thought no one ever talked about this stuff, but I'm glad that I'm not the only one! The most drunken sex that I ever had happened the one summer I did not work. (What is it that they say about idle hands and minds?) All I remember is that I only know his first name, someone walked in and used the phone while it happened, and I ended up being driven home by the roommate whose bed I fucked on-In my bra and a pair of boxers, barefoot with a baseball cap. I have no idea what the roommates' name was, but I apologized profusely and she bought me biscuits and gravy after we kissed and made up.
Oh, that Lisa Dark - legendary, even to her hostess! This is a great variety of not remembering stories. Marvelous, the fellow at the end. And that vicious frog in there too! And a still-buzzing vibrator (on the bed, or ... ?) CE - I like the picture of Lisa. I don't know if it's supposed to be "sexy" per se, but it's a cute person with great draping limbs and an appropriately curious look lying in an interesting position.
fun feature...considering how horny i get when i'm drunk, i'm shocked i don't have a story like this...i guess i have the misfortune of remembering my drunken encounters. also, i'm a little weirded out because Wally Veinott sounds like the guy i'm currently sleeping with...one detail is off, so i'm safe, i guess....
The best sex i ever had that i dont remember was thsi apst new years. i woke up naked and my whole body hurt like i got beat up the nighth before...apparently me and my bf had like gorilla sex or soemthing cause i ah bruises all over me and so did he. we had sex in the bathroom on the sink in the dining room on the table in the hallway, in the kitchen on the bed...it was good though i woke up feeling like i had about 20 orgasms the night before.
I was on my day off; going to the local grocery store to buy food & a bottle of whiskey. A woman, I had seen in the neighborhood but never talked to, called over to me, "where are you going?" For some reason I told her I was going to get a bottle of whiskey. She smiled and said, "what do you like?" I forgot what I named but at that time, it was probably a bourbon. She said, "OK, I'll bring a bottle by in a little while." I thought to myself, "ya, right!" and went on to the store. Sure enough, a while later, she came by with the bottle (a 5th by the way). She sat on my couch and I sat in my easy chair as I had never had anything like this happen before and was somewhat shy. She wasn't. She started pouring drinks and I started drinking them! Sometime later with the level of the bottle noticiblely lower, I realized she wasn't drinking that much but by that time I was well on my way & didn't care. She then asked me to come sit down on the couch with her. I did and she kissed me & unzipped my pants! More drinks & time passed and then she took the bottle away from me. I wasn't too happy about that but, by then, was in NO shape to argue. She lead me to the bedroom and helped undress me as my fingers were not working very well. She took me in her arms but discovered that she had done her job too well and I was not quite up for the job. She didn't mind at all, placed a breast in my mouth, and told me to take a nap. I passed out immediately! An hour or so later she woke me up and we made love. She was so kind to me and acted like she really wanted to be with me and that she enjoyed the whole experience. I never saw her again. This was the outstanding sexual event of my life! It happened over 20 years ago but it will remain with me for ever. It pushed so many buttons I didn't know I had. I found out I love drunken sex where, at least sometimes, the woman is in charge. I loved her taking charge of me; feeling protected when I was incapable of taking care of myself. I found I love being woken up the morning after a hard party, when you are still drunk, and your partner rolls you over for cuddling and more. I found out that when I'm drunk with my partner, I become submissive and love her doing what she wants with me while keeping me on the edge of consciencousness. Aterwards she gives me a few shots & passes me out.
It works both ways. I would want her to have drunken fantasies too. One I had was both of us getting drunk & passing out at a party at our house. While we were unconscienceous, our friends strip us, prop us up sitting on the couch, and take pictures of us with our heads hanging down, etc. Afterwards, they put us to bed & leave, leaving the pictures by the bed. When we come to the next morning, my girlfriend is pissed for a while about the pictures. Then I hear some laughter & a pop. She comes back in the bedroom, drinking from a bottle of champaign or cold duck. "Screw it", she says, "let's do it again!"
Some questions for your readers:
1) Are there 'personals' websites where I could meet single
women with fantasies like mine?
2) Any other type of website other than 'personals' where
we could meet (message boards, etc.)?
I am not interested in constant drinking & I don't drink everyday myself. Most people don't want to have constant sex! Any help you can give in meeting like minded women would be appreciated. Women who like to smoke large cigars would be a great plus!
Now you say something