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Female • 16 years old • Pittsburgh
You could say I was a good student. He taught me how hard I should tug his hair to make him grin when we kissed, where exactly I should flick my tongue to make his eyes roll back in his head. He showed me how tight of a grip I should use to make his legs tremble. I passed every test.
I showcased my teen lust in my royal blue journal; every detail was documented. On the back cover I kept tally marks of everything that we did in what I thought at the time was a secret code that only I could understand: "BJ, III... HJ, IIIIII... "
I now know that even a six year old would probably be able to figure out my "secret language."
But sitting in the backseat of my parents' car I would scribble on the pages, laughing about what my parents would think of me if they knew what I was writing.
"Everything feels so good, I can't wait to find out what sex is going to feel like..."
I was ready, I took the prerequisites, it was time for that capstone course.
I told that journal how perfect it would be. How could it not be? We went to our favorite place to fool around: the duck lake.
It was dark, but we had no blanket to romantically stargaze. Lying on top of a picnic table seemed like the most logical alternative. Where a family ate dinner hours before, I would lose my virginity.
He stood off the table while I inched my body as close to the edge as I could. My t-shirt was spread out under me so I wouldn't get splinters in unpleasant places.
And then, with a one, two, three and cry of pain it was all over. No pleasure, no fireworks. My journal was going to be seriously disappointed.
"So..," I mumbled awkwardly, "does this mean I'm not a virgin anymore?"
"That is what it means," he said.
That night I lied to my journal. I was too embarrassed to admit even to bound pieces of paper that losing my virginity was the least fun I had all summer. Months of plot development with no climax, pun intended.
n°
We're looking for stories about the first, best, worst, weirdest, and funniest times you had sex. Email firsttime@nerve.com with 300-800 words. (Don't worry, we won't print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.
Previous First Times
Female • 18 years old • Wongaling Beach, Australia
"I was just discovering this power I had..."
Female • 15 years old • Vancouver, Canada
"Being a small-town fat girl with mental problems didn't leave me with tremendouslsy high self-esteem..."
Female • 16 years old • New York
"I looked down, and abruptly stopped laughing..."
Female • 16 years old • Pittsburgh
"I showcased my lust in my journal; every detail was documented..."
Female • 17 years old • Canada
"For the first week of camp, he came up to me every night at the end of our shift..."
Female • 17 years old • Tacoma, Washington
"I think about him even thirty years later..."
Female • 17 years old • Virginia
"He was the lead singer in a band about to make it any moment..."
Female • 16 years old • Connecticut
"I'm twenty-two now, and I'm only just starting to accept what happened..."
Female • 20 years old • Europe
"He came to open the door wearing a sarong, eyes heavy with eyeliner..."
Female • 21 years old • South Florida
"I had absolutely no intention of leaving college a virgin..."
Male • 16 years old • North Wales
"I attempted to sound casual and instead emitted something of a squeak..."
Male • 16 years old • South of France
"Come on then, are we going to shag or what?"
Female • 16 years old • Iowa
"He didn't go to my school, and he was cute..."
Male • 17 years old • Massachusetts
"Where this 'expertise' came from, considering I'd never kissed a girl, I don't really know..."
Male • 23 years old • Tohoku, Japan
"The next day, she called me three times and I was too sketched out to pick up..."
Female • 17 years old • Pennsylvania
"I zeroed my sights on a bassist..."
Male • 17 years old • Illinois
"My virginity was auctioned off..."
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