My First Time, by You - Nerve.com


My First Time
Female • 18 years old • Wongaling Beach, Australia.

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My first time was not glorious, or magical, or even poetic. It was, however, exactly what I wanted. I was nearing the end of my eighteenth year on the planet. I felt too old for my body and my skin was crawling with anticipation for what I could only imagine then was this thrilling world of erotic possibilities! I was on a trip to visit relatives in Australia. I'd had this inner sense that I'd be deflowered on this trip, yet I was nearing the end of the visit. I had recently graduated from high school and was too impatient to wait any longer. I had waited all through those high-school years, bypassing the obnoxious, eager puppies that passed for men at my age, and I was about to go off to university back in Canada. As far as I was concerned, uni was no place for virgins.

When I saw him I knew instantly. As the space between my ears slowly began to dissolve, I knew: this boy was no good. He was possibly the most immature specimen of the male gender I had ever met.

Illustration by Thomas Pitilli
At twenty-nine, this guy still worked in a bar, and more than that, he treated his job like it was a legitimate passion. And who could blame him? He worked the bar of a backpacker hostel in a hot, sweaty, small town in Queensland. This guy had landed himself a goldmine. Turnover was quick, and he had his pick of the litter every single night of the week. In short: he was perfect.

To be the girl he chose was easy. There's nothing like being eighteen and just coming into your own, especially when you're a late bloomer. You drip with sensuality that doesn't quite belong to you yet. I was ripe, and just discovering this power I had over the opposite sex. It was all too easy. That first night he gave me my first real beer, and his phone number. As far as I was concerned, the deal was sealed.

The next day, after an intense make-out session in his apartment, I told him that I was still a card-carrying virgin; he gave me this hilarious speech about respecting that, and how we could just hang out for the next week and have fun, or we could hang out and "really have some fun!" I knew which option I was interested in. The following week was a blur of strange positions and even stranger social situations; I was trotted around like a surrogate girlfriend, impressing his friends with my "maturity," smoking too much pot with Danish stoners, and downing too many shots with bi-curious Irish lasses.

We only had sex a handful of times before he began acting strange. He was moody and seemed less and less interested in exploring my newfound sexuality with me. The last night I was in town I couldn't find him at the bar, so I decided to stumble up to his front door to say my goodbyes. There he was on his couch, in the candlelight, arm around a new pretty young thing.

When he tried to hug me goodbye, I flinched away. My pride was bruised. I told him that I'd never forget him, that he'd given me a "great introduction into the world of boys." Once he'd gone back inside, I decided to steal his bike. As I rode it all the way back to my motel under the full moon, I heard the waves of the ocean crashing against the beach nearby and felt a tear roll down my wind-chilled face. I pedalled faster, and before I knew it I was gone.  

We're looking for stories about the first, best, worst, weirdest, and funniest times you had sex. Email firsttime@nerve.com with 300-800 words. (Don't worry, we won't print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.

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34 Comments

The recurring lesson of most of these First Time stories seems to be that if you want to be the kind of guy who gets to deflower hot young girls, it helps to be a callous asshole who doesn't really like them. I really wish somebody had taught me that when I was young enough for it to count.

BM commented on 10/20

You're never too old for it to count, BM.

JBA commented on 10/20

BM, deflowering young girls is really not all it's cracked up to be.

TK commented on 10/20

TK, oh yes it is. Sweet fuck how very much it is.

JL commented on 10/20

The recurring lesson of most of these First Time stories seems to be that if you want to be the kind of guy who gets laid, it helps to have balls.

JD commented on 10/20

The recurring lesson of these stories and their following comments is that men are idiots.

HG commented on 10/20

It's too bad he ended up being such a douche. If he'd waited one more night, it would have been a happy ending for her.

LF commented on 10/20

No, HG - the recurring lesson is that so many young girls make stupid choices

AD commented on 10/20

and men like me are there to help them make those stupid choices

NO commented on 10/20

I bet my life HG is a "Fat Chick" Any takers?

CR commented on 10/20

WTF?! I bet CR is an asshole. HG, this was a great story! I'm so proud to hear you took the bike. Ha! serves him right!

SP commented on 10/20

um, whoever HG is, she didn't write the story.

JC commented on 10/20

i'm afraid it's true - the bigger the assholes we are the more the ladies want to sleep with us. of course you already have to be attractive. they only want the attractive assholes. cave logic is alive and well.

guy commented on 10/21

The recurring theme is that girls are idiots for falling for assholes.

SPC commented on 10/21

Odd that even though he seemed to want to "respect" the situation/virginity/whatever he ended up punking his integrity out like that. Still, a lesson well learned for an naive young woman who expected more from this obviously stacked bargain than to be treated like a disposable sex toy.

AK commented on 10/21

BM, I would say that if you are the kind of guy who fetishizes deflowering hot young girls, it pretty much makes you a callous asshole who doesn't really like them. Congrats, loser.

DR commented on 10/21

Am I the only one who thinks this isn't such a big deal and that all things considered it's a pretty good "first"? Isn't teenagerhood about making a few (or more) stupid choices, feeling unappreciated and broken-hearted etc etc? Dude was a loser who worked as a bartender at a backpacker hostel but I'm sure the chicks he DIDN'T sleep with at the backpacker hostel were jealous of the author. And she even got to steal his bike in a fit of pique! Awesome! Happily ever after I'd say.

YH commented on 10/21

Other than not waiting a day to spare her feelings, I don't really think that the guy treated her with particular disrespect. He may have even done her a favor (intentionally?) by giving her a pretext to hate him and thus get over him, rather than staying stuck on him after she left Australia. Also, how is that people are saying that HE treated HER as a "disposable sex toy"? The author writes about getting off on the power of her attractiveness, and about seeing this guy as a go-nowhere loser who happened to be hot, so she thought "Perfect." Isn't that a textbook case of USING someone? What if he'd fallen in love with her? And how would we view a guy who decided to pursue a girl who he thought was a loser, but hot?

S.F. commented on 10/21

booze and ale

Ajm commented on 10/21

HG might be fat, but I'm definitely not and I agree with her. I also agree, however, with YH and (to an extent) with SF. Hey, it happens. As a young chick I've had sexual experiences with some older guys who I thought were hot, but basically losers. They've had the power to hurt my feelings, but if I'm honest I think it was more about ego than about "love".

EC commented on 10/22

This is all pretty convenient for the author. Set herself up to get 'hurt' by the asshole she selected to deflower her, then somehow being 'surprised' he's with another girl and using it as justification to steal. This is why we men think many of you ladies are bonkers.

guy commented on 10/22

This is all pretty convenient for the author. Set herself up to get 'hurt' by the asshole she selected to deflower her, then somehow being 'surprised' he's with another girl and using it as justification to steal. This is why we men think many of you ladies are bonkers.

guy commented on 10/22

It says much that girls never seem to look for 'nice boys' to get deflowered,,, or maybe 'nice boys' no longer exist.......

VRR commented on 10/22

Reminds me of my first time, but I was an even bigger fool for staying with the guy for TWO AND A HALF YEARS. Luckily that's all over. It's amazing how I learned that an asshole guy with so much experience can still be so bad in bed.

girl commented on 10/22

why the hate for him? She chose him exactly because he was disposable and temporary. He just made the move to get out of it before she did.

DS commented on 10/22

the comments are more entertaining than the article

ja commented on 10/22

You know what would be great? Gay and lesbian first times too.

ABT commented on 10/23

Pics or it never happend

jon commented on 10/24

Girls don't choose "nice guys" because nice guys go off the damn deep end when it's time to break up. I gotta give the asshole losers credit, that's one time when their egos aren't front and center.

afc commented on 10/25

I have to agree, that it seems the supposedly 'young naive' girl was fully aware of what was going to happen - it was according to her plan to leave, after all. I think she just expected he'd be more of a grown up and polite about the exchange. perhaps he felt used and hence started acting 'weird'?

CP commented on 10/26

The girl got what she her actions meritted. She intentionally picked a guy who was "no good" in her own words and who was "the most immature specimen of the male gender" she had ever met despite having complained about immature boys the paragraph before. There is no need to pity her except to pity her for being female in the modern world where her instincts are dysfunctional.

zw commented on 11/08

ZW, my thoughts exactly

me commented on 11/08

I wish people would quit complaining about this column. No one's forcing you to read it. I'm enjoying these. They aren't exactly feel-good reads, no. But haven't you even seen a photo of some old and leathery man or woman who may not have been particularly attractive while still young only to be the subject of a beautiful photo? That's kind of how I see these. They're almost poignant in their banality. It's not about the sex. It's about the writers' emotions and attitudes and how they've changed over time since what is generally considered a sort of milestone occurred.

JB commented on 11/11

if were to see that guy i would be like HANDS UP!!

DY commented on 11/16
 

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