Announcing the Winners of the October Amateur Photo Contest! Sexiest photo of someone with meat.
This month's winners picked by our newest blog-a-logger, SJ1000.
First Place ($500 Prize)
"bacon"
by Angela Peck and Jackyln Stear
This photo wins because it makes me want to have sex with the girl in the photograph. I would like to fuck her, but maybe not in the gyno exam room/chiropractor’s office in which this photo has been taken. I’m glad it was taken there, because that’s hot in a clinical and sterile way, but I am never ever turned on at the gyno and only rarely turned on at the chiropractor. This is the kind of photo you bring to your homophobic relatives at Thanksgiving with the announcement, “Great-grandma Nee-nee, I’m gay” and then they totally understand because of the hotness and also because homophobes generally like bacon as well as eggs and America.
This photo kind of annoys me for reasons I can’t explain, maybe because I feel like she’s trying to make her cat horny. But the thing is, the cat doesn’t want to fuck her, and I do. I think what is happening is that I’m jealous of the cat. Anyway, she’s completely adorable and looks impish. She has a good nipple ring happening and her lips look like they are wearing a very nice, tasteful gloss. This photo makes me want to have a cat and also to make out with this lady.
Third Place
"Buns For Peta"
by jdac
Third place goes to the butts. It’s nice that someone has taken the time to print out a PETA sign and then put it in his/her butt (I think it is a ladybutt). I like the awkward/cute composition of all the rounded butts and all the blocky tofu. Some of these people have nice shoulder tans. These kids seem like nice folks. Look how happy that girl is!
This photo gets first runner-up because I feel like I’ve had this experience, not with my own dick or sausage dick, but with other people’s dicks. It’s at this point that I like to say, “Honey, tuck it UP already!” Also, I like his boxer-briefs and hope his face is nice. This photograph makes me want to make out with a dude.
Mostly I fucking hate this photo and it makes me want to kill myself. That said, he gets points for fucking something that is both dead and an animal. For that I salute him. It’s inventive. Also, I like new potatoes. And this is kind of funny. The end.
