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If the government ever brings back Prohibition, parties will get so much better.
See: Mame, Some Like it Hot, The Untouchables, Idlewild, Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
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If you're going to solve a murder, you either need lots of hard liquor or a ridiculous accent. Clearly, the liquor is the way to go.
See: The Big Sleep, The Maltese Falcon, The Thin Man, Chinatown, Fargo, Murder She Said, Charlie Chan Carries On |
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Humphey Bogart only drinks because he cares.
See: Casablanca, The African Queen, The Big Sleep |
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Drinking + cowboys + horses = hilarious.
See: True Grit, Cat Ballou |
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Drinking + cowboys + guns = less hilarious.
See: Unforgiven |
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Warning: drinking to excess can result in hangovers, dehydration, marriage.
See: How to Murder Your Wife, Mame, Laws of Attraction, Warm Summer Rain |
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Don't let Kim Basinger drink.
See: Blind Date, 8 Mile, My Stepmother is an Alien |
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Do let Marilyn Monroe drink.
See: The Seven Year Itch, Some Like it Hot, The Misfits |
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Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Unless those friends are conspiring to murder you.
See: North by Northwest, The Postman Always Rings Twice |
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Always order Pinot. Do not drink any fucking Merlot.
See: Sideways |
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There's no point being sober in a Santa suit.
See: Bad Santa, Trading Places, The Ref |
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If your friend is really judgmental about your drinking habits, he or she is probably a far more entertaining drunk than you are.
See: Old School, Can't Hardly Wait, 10 Things I Hate About You, Guys and Dolls |
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The important thing when making a cocktail is the rhythm. A Manhattan you shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time.
See: The Thin Man |
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Did you ever try dunking a potato chip in champagne? It's crazy!
See: The Seven Year Itch |
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Get drunk when you're fighting with someone and you'll end up standing outside their window, yelling their name.
See: A Streetcar Named Desire, The Philadelphia Story
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If a bartender lets you drink for free every night, he's probably a hallucination.
See: The Shining |
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Going to catch a giant killer shark is a great occasion to get drunk.
See: Jaws |
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No one delivers a monologue better than a half-crazy drunk guy.
See: Network, Jaws, Dr. Strangelove |
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If a woman can out-drink the locals, she's a keeper.
See: Raiders of the Lost Ark |
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Old-school James Bond: vodka martini, shaken not stirred. Twenty-first century James Bond: three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shaken over ice, with a thin slice of lemon peel.
See: Casino Royale |
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Drunks are the happiest people alive.
See: Any movie made before 1945. |
