Are we the only happily partnered person who keeps a mental list of people-we-would-so-want-to-date-if-they-were-single-and-our-significant-other-ever-left-us? Well, John Darnielle has been holding steady near the top of ours ever since this improbably fun interview. Fanning the flames is the brand-new Mountain Goats video in which he and Peter Hughes are kidnapped by violent teeangers with excellent musical taste and forced to play "This Year" in a ransacked suburban home. And for that, he is our crush of the week. — Ada Calhoun
"The 'flesh' in me did actually think some of the jokes were slightly funny at best. My spirit wanted to throw up, however." — A "Christian Answers" reader review of The 40-Year-Old Virgin. To his credit, the official reviewer found the film to have a "good overall theme" and "Biblical values."
"All the women love the ass of the man. If you ask some girl which part they love when they make sex with the man, they say the ass. Eighty per cent. So we work a lot with the trouser to make a beautiful ass for men." — A fashion tip from Dominico Dolce. Our office manager, Gwynne, is convinced the Italians are "just fucking with us" when they use the phrase "make sex."
"Bridging the gap between instructions included with LEGO sets and the unlimited world of freestyle LEGO building, The Unofficial LEGO Builder's Guide (No Starch Press, September '05) is a nuts-and-bolts approach to making original models from those famous plastic bricks." The first line of a press release we inexplicably received this week.
"Hi Ada, Thanks for the note! We're not releasing screeners right now, so we need to pass on this." — The note we got in reply to a request for screeners of Al Gore's new TV channel, which we'd heard wasn't as embarassing as it sounded. We immediately felt like we'd asked the biggest nerd in school to the prom and been turned down.
Photos of the Week
Some pasty German ad execs over at Ogilvy present their take on the Dove firming cream ads.
The London Zoo has opened a homo sapiens exhibit. Between this and the rent-a-gay library we mentioned last week, we're starting to fret about our socialist institutions.
We were stuck behind this truck on our way to the Catskills last weekend and suddenly felt like a doctor being paged on the beach.
Enjoy the final days of summer wiht the dopey-looking Evian-filled bikini. The Sun calls it "chest great."
Speaking of babies, Punky Brewster had one: Poet Sienna Rose Goldberg. Apparently, Soleil Moon Frye isn't going to break the cycle of name abuse.
In this strange video taken in front of a nightclub, "Paris is Back!, she scarily switches back and forth between a little-girl voice for the paparazzi and a normal voice for her friends.
The new Pope just keeps looking more and more like a supervillain and, as our designer Bill points out, a dilophosaurus. And yet, the fact that they answer to a dragon-faced archnemesis doesn't diminish our attraction to sexy priests.
PETA wants us to look at Ron Jeremy. Doesn’t that constitute some kind of cruelty in itself?
Speaking of which, who knew tigers were so gullible? And why isn't it mandatory that pigs wear little costumes at all times?
Product Placement
Can you imagine actually using the names of the positions available with the "Bodybouncer" during sex?
-"Honey, let's try the 'lammer' tonight." -"Aw, I really wanted a 'flowjob.'"
Tabloid Fodder : The Whose Side Are You On? Edition
People
Team: Angelina. Baby Zahara was "Saved by a Mother's Love!" (But hedging bets: "Jen looked really happy!")
Us Weekly
Team: Jennifer. Jen is "Moving on From Brad!" (But hedging bets: Angelina, Brad and the kids "definitely looked like a happy little family.")
In Touch
Team: Jennifer. Aniston's experience should teach Angelina that Brad has a "history of changing not only his hair colors but also his mind."
Star
Team: Angelina. Jolie is "drop-dead gorgeous," "a "vixen" and she has "taken Brad to sexual heights that he'd never imagined." The "wild and crazy sex goddess" is also, incidentally, "hot in a hairnet."
Scanner
appears every Tuesday.
Research assistants:
Gwynne Watkins and Sarah Harrison.
guys--I like the site, and this column is usually amusing. But how is labeling the pope a "supervillian" and comparing him to a dinosaur an example of "sex in media + culture"? It seems gratuitous and mean-spirited. Why don't you stick to sex and leave religious bigotry to folks like the kkk--kay?
Hmmmmmm--I hate to agree, but I agree. I don't see the point. Though I think the greater, um, "sin" here is that it wasn't very funny. Dinosaur humour? Is "designer Bill" a 5 year-old? What's next, Bill, a poo-poo gag?
The pope is a supervillain. And thank you Nerve for pointing that out for the ignorant masses to clearly see. Thank you, thank you truly.
(I loved this picture, almost as much as I loved the one with the devil horns. :D
See, if even gets a big smiley.)
Please continue to share with your audience funny and revealing pictures of the pope. It's better than some forms of sex known to man (man, not woman).
I'm wondering if it's a coincidence that the reader--tto-- who supports religious hatred is also someone who uses emoticons ... tto also writes about the "ignorant masses" and then mispells that very difficult word "it": "See, if even gets a big smiley." Apparently our grade school teachers were right: hatred is founded on ignorance. But Nerve, really--what's next? A picture of a "supervillain" Rabbi that looks like a pterodactyl? A picture of a "supervillain" imam that looks like T-Rex? I agree with caller number one: stick to sex and leave the bigotry to others--it'd be more sexy ...
Peace!
If anything, tto's "misspelling" shows tto's problem with typing not with spelling per se (after all he or she spelled all the other, more difficult words, correctly). As for emoticons, try to think of them as pictograms, some people prefer to use them some don't, and the ones who do use them aren
According to my own analysis, thousands of persons in the world receive the business loans at good creditors. Hence, there's great possibilities to find a short term loan in every country.
Generally high school students choose various custom papers writing organizations. So, it is completely wrong, just because you're never assured just about quality these companies provide. The best way is to choose the most reputed writing my paper service. It only should emancipate you.
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It's easy to get lost in the parade of utter normalcy that is this website of 
The new 
Commentarium (10 Comments)
guys--I like the site, and this column is usually amusing. But how is labeling the pope a "supervillian" and comparing him to a dinosaur an example of "sex in media + culture"? It seems gratuitous and mean-spirited. Why don't you stick to sex and leave religious bigotry to folks like the kkk--kay?
Hmmmmmm--I hate to agree, but I agree. I don't see the point. Though I think the greater, um, "sin" here is that it wasn't very funny. Dinosaur humour? Is "designer Bill" a 5 year-old? What's next, Bill, a poo-poo gag?
The pope is a supervillain. And thank you Nerve for pointing that out for the ignorant masses to clearly see. Thank you, thank you truly.
(I loved this picture, almost as much as I loved the one with the devil horns. :D
See, if even gets a big smiley.)
Please continue to share with your audience funny and revealing pictures of the pope. It's better than some forms of sex known to man (man, not woman).
I'm wondering if it's a coincidence that the reader--tto-- who supports religious hatred is also someone who uses emoticons ... tto also writes about the "ignorant masses" and then mispells that very difficult word "it": "See, if even gets a big smiley." Apparently our grade school teachers were right: hatred is founded on ignorance. But Nerve, really--what's next? A picture of a "supervillain" Rabbi that looks like a pterodactyl? A picture of a "supervillain" imam that looks like T-Rex? I agree with caller number one: stick to sex and leave the bigotry to others--it'd be more sexy ...
Peace!
If anything, tto's "misspelling" shows tto's problem with typing not with spelling per se (after all he or she spelled all the other, more difficult words, correctly). As for emoticons, try to think of them as pictograms, some people prefer to use them some don't, and the ones who do use them aren
p.s. my apologies, I forgot to add pedophilia (maybe next to homophobia).
Does it seems to anyone else that the BodyBouncer is for the very lazy and very horny?
According to my own analysis, thousands of persons in the world receive the business loans at good creditors. Hence, there's great possibilities to find a short term loan in every country.
Generally high school students choose various custom papers writing organizations. So, it is completely wrong, just because you're never assured just about quality these companies provide. The best way is to choose the most reputed writing my paper service. It only should emancipate you.
I cannot write some negative comments about the Custom writing help providers. Advanced writers, who are employed at the academic papers writing corporations, helped me very much.
Now you say something