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| Crush of the Week |
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Are we the only happily partnered person who keeps a mental list of people-we-would-so-want-to-date-if-they-were-single-and-our-significant-other-ever-left-us? Well, John Darnielle has been holding steady near the top of ours ever since this improbably fun interview. Fanning the flames is the brand-new Mountain Goats video in which he and Peter Hughes are kidnapped by violent teeangers with excellent musical taste and forced to play "This Year" in a ransacked suburban home. And for that, he is our crush of the week. — Ada Calhoun
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| Quotes of the Week |
"The 'flesh' in me did actually think some of the jokes were slightly funny at best. My spirit wanted to throw up, however." — A "Christian Answers" reader review of The 40-Year-Old Virgin. To his credit, the official reviewer found the film to have a "good overall theme" and "Biblical values." |
| "All the women love the ass of the man. If you ask some girl which part they love when they make sex with the man, they say the ass. Eighty per cent. So we work a lot with the trouser to make a beautiful ass for men." — A fashion tip from Dominico Dolce. Our office manager, Gwynne, is convinced the Italians are "just fucking with us" when they use the phrase "make sex." |
| "Bridging the gap between instructions included with LEGO sets and the unlimited world of freestyle LEGO building, The Unofficial LEGO Builder's Guide (No Starch Press, September '05) is a nuts-and-bolts approach to making original models from those famous plastic bricks." — The first line of a press release we inexplicably received this week. |
| Best headline of the week: "Ad dropped featuring nun holding condom." |
| "Hi Ada, Thanks for the note! We're not releasing screeners right now, so we need to pass on this." — The note we got in reply to a request for screeners of Al Gore's new TV channel, which we'd heard wasn't as embarassing as it sounded. We immediately felt like we'd asked the biggest nerd in school to the prom and been turned down. |
| Product Placement |
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Can you imagine actually using the names of the positions available with the "Bodybouncer" during sex?
-"Honey, let's try the 'lammer' tonight." -"Aw, I really wanted a 'flowjob.'" |
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Charlotte's Vagina sold for $40,000. |
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Scanner
appears every Tuesday.
Research assistants:
Gwynne Watkins and Sarah Harrison.
Send tips to ada@nerve.com.
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© 2005 Nerve.com, Inc.
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