|Rings of Fire|
|Reviews of female "smoking performances" in popular films, from the Female Celebrity Smoking List.|
Helena Bonham Carter in Fight Club:
“at least two different scenes . . . in each . . . she exhales the same way: letting the thick, consistent smoke flow slowly out her mouth like a chimney, but not a french inhale . . . In the first two scenes she sexily lets the smoke drift out her mouth. In about the next four or five scenes, she dangles and looks great doing it. Not many exhales unfortunately . . . There is another deleted scene with Helena standing outside a building lighting up with a match. You get to see the first part of the inhale, but then it cuts away and you don’t see anything else.”
Gwyneth Paltrow in The Royal Tenenbaums:
“A very enjoyable smoking performance… has a hands free drag and exhale during the opening credits, and has approximately eight other smoking scenes in the film, with a few dangles, several inhales and exhales.”
Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not:
“In this, the film often credited with starting a million women smoking, the 19-year-old Bacall actually takes only four drags off her non-filter. But what drags! All from the initial lighting – deeply inhaled and thickly expelled. She blows out a match with one exhale. You can see why others were attracted to the habit.”
Madonna in Who’s That Girl:
“She couldn’t smoke then. Waste of time.”
|Wave of Mutilation|
From the "reader stories" section on masturbationhorror.com.
Well, I did a real dumb thing about 11 years ago. I had this flute-style glass flower vase, and it looked perfect for masturbation. The right width and length. So, I opened this old trunk I had and put it between the open lip and the lid. When I got on my knees it was the perfect height. Well, it was working great until I put too much pressure on the lid and it crushed the vase with my cock inside it. I put the pressure on it right when I was cumming, and it severely severed my dick. There was blood everywhere, and I had to have emergency surgery. The wounds were superficial and I had 30 stitches in my cock. It was extremely painful and I contemplated suicide many times, and almost did it once. I have lived with the terror and humiliation beyond all description.
I realize that others think it’s funny, but I have very painful flashbacks and I’ve never been able to have another relationship or sleep with a woman since. I doubt I ever will. My cock has a barely visible scar on it, but it is there. Often I think back to it and I can barley overcome my shame. I can’t even talk to a counselor, maybe the anonymous sharing of my story is the first step.
I am a 19 year old guy, and one afternoon I thought it would be fun to insert a cucumber all the way into my anus. I had done this before and was always able to pass it back out easily. Well this time it went in, and I couldn’t get it to come back out. I also had previous engagement with a friend that afternoon so I reluctantly went with the cucumber still in my anus. I was fine for most of the afternoon until I felt it coming! Needless to say I had to rush for the bathroom, but nobody was the wiser. That experience scared the hell out of me, but it was still fun.
Having discovered the pleasures of minty things like Altoids on my cock, I got to thinking about what the “other side” might be like.
So, I poured a couple of drops of Tabasco sauce on the head of my dick and started to wank. it was feeling good, so I poured several more drops on my dick AND my ball sack. it felt absolutely tremendous when I came, but unfortunately the Tabasco was just getting started. long story short, I had to spent over an hour in the shower trying in vain to douse the heat, which felt like a fire consuming every inch of my genitals for the duration. it was NOT worth it!
|Search terms that recently led people to the masturbation site www.worldwidewank.com:
1. cat giving finger
|From “Words that Sound Dirty, But Aren’t.” The complete list, with pictures, can be found at http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~mmc/funwords.html.
|May the Force Be With You|
|Letters written to Princess Melissa, a web-based dominatrix. View all at http://www.humiliatrix.com/comments.html.
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| Compiled by Sarah Harrison and Gwynne Watkins
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