Let’s face it — you’re an educated consumer, and if you’re going to spend $6,000 on a sex doll, you expect quality. By now, you’ve probably flipped through every Consumer Reports index in the library, looking for the “sex doll” entry between “sewing machines” and “shampoo ingredients.” So you’ll be pleased to learn that Jerrry and his wife, of Victoria’s Closet have done the work for you. Here are the most useful things we learned from their side-by-side comparison of Real Doll and Superbabe:
1. Realdoll leaves rings, like a coffee mug: “If you place the doll on a solid color material for a few days you may notice that she leaves an outline when removed.”
2. Superbabe was “suspended by her breasts to test durability.” Would you pass this test?
3. Superbabe has silent joints, whereas Realdoll tends to creak. But Realdoll has fingerprints. If you’re getting a sex doll as a criminal accomplice, keep this in mind.
4. Realdoll’s tongue is removable for “easy cleaning.”
5. Older models of Realdoll had “a problem with the jaw becoming disconnected at the skull.” Therefore, you should never feed your Realdoll solid food.
6. Superbabe has “speed bumps” inside to maximize pleasure. Realdoll, like the Autobahn, has no speed limit.
Our own observation: Superbabe looks like Charles Busch in drag. — Gwynne Watkins