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Rise of the Wes

Comments on the sex appeal of presidential candidate Wesley Clark, from the “Women For Clark” weblog.

Comments by Deb4Dean in Idaho
I have been supporting Howard Dean since February. Thus far, I have not seen anything Clark is saying that can sway me, however, I am listening.
When I saw Clark on one of the morning shows, he had so much makeup on he looked plastic. So I can’t weigh in on the positve for looks. Dean in denim gets me going . . .

Comments by Jenny
It finally hit me watching The new commerical”
He looks like Richard Gere.
Whoo!!

Comments by Charlotte
Denyse, I am one of those women who would probably offend you, but only in past elections. I finally wised up in my golden years. I have voted a time or two for the best looking candidate, but that was when the choice was, the lesser of two evils . . .
When the Democratic candidates started announcing their intentions I thought, oh! me, here we go again. I just felt these men are good men, but none really impressed me as one who could beat Bush if his approval stayed as high as it has been. NOW, when I heard about the General being drafted I thought, this is too good to be true. Just look, he is sooo handsome, he is sooo charmimg, he is such a good speaker, and intelligence gallore. It certainly won’t be hard to vote this time.

Comments by Susan from Canada
Denyse, I am so glad you “got over yourself” because The General’s looks will be an enormous asset in the nomination process and in the Presidential campaign. As you grudgingly state, women & men respond more positively to an attractive person than an unattractive person. Men will respond to the General because he is not a “pretty boy”, he is a rugged, chisled, handsome man . . . “A man’s man”. And we girls, well we get the best of both worlds . . . The President we want and some eye candy along the way.

Comments by Sylvia
As a mature woman, I don’t vote for anyone because of their physical attributes. I was first attracted to Gen. Clark’s confident, intelligent manner of speaking. Here was a man, I knew nothing about, making me want to stand up and shout YESSSSS . . . this man IS the man I’ve been waiting for. Because sad to say, up to that point, I was simply going to sit out the next election. Then I came into the room to see who was speaking on my TV. I didn’t want to miss a word of what he said, but I wanted to watch him say it.

 
Gratuitous Remix Award
The opening lines of "Baby Got Back," by Sir Mix-a-Lot, translated into Latin by livejournal user Quislibet.

mehercle!
(By Hercules!)
Rebecca, ecce! tantae clunes isti sunt!
(Rebecca, behold! Such large buttocks she has!)
amica esse videtur istorum hominum rhythmicorum.
(She appears to be a girlfriend of one of those rhythmic-oration people.)
sed, ut scis,
(But, as you know)
quis homines huiusmodi intellegere potest?
(Who can understand persons of this sort?)
colloquuntur equidem cum ista eo tantum, quod scortum perfectum esse videtur.
(Verily, they converse with her for this reason only, namely, that she appears to be a complete whore.)
clunes, aio, maiores esse!
(Her buttocks, I say, are rather large!)
nec possum credere quam rotondae sint.
(Nor am I able to believe how round they are.)

 
Love at First Bite

Vampire Sex: How They Do It

Sexual intercourse is slightly more complicated for vampires, given their undead nature. There are three basic problems:

1. Cold Flesh: Being no longer among the living, vampires bodies tend to equalize at room temperature, which most mortals would find repellant, unless their minds are somehow clouded.

2. Lack of Proper Blood Circulation: This is a bigger problem for males rather than females, for obvious reasons.

3. Frenzy During Sexual Intercourse: If you are seducing a mortal to feed, this is not a real problem. However, if you are interested in a long-term relationship with the mortal or are sleeping with another Kindred, suddenly biting their neck and sucking them dry can be a problem. Unfortunately, many sexual positions have the unfortunate effect of placing the other person’s neck in a readily accessible position, and the build-up to sexual climax has its parallels to the build-up to a vampiric feeding frenzy. As one such vampire once said, rather crudely: “Mortals are for sucking, not for fucking.” In more polite company, the phrase “Mortals are for chewing, not for screwing,” is often substituted.

 
Love at First Bite, Part II

Sections from the marriage contract on Marryyourpet.com.

If you wish to marry your pet, you must read these rules and comply with them at all times:

1. This is a contract between you, your pet, and MarryYourPet. It is not recognised by a court of law.

2. This union is a marriage of minds and companionship. You have no conjugal rights.You are not allowed to have sex with your pet.

    2.1 If you want to consummate the marriage, we suggest you both share some cake. If your pet has a food allergy then a pat on the head will suffice.

4. Marriage is for life* or until your contract expires.

    *You are not allowed to take the life of your pet.

6. It is the norm for your pet to assume your surname after marriage.

 
— Compiled by Sarah Harrison and Gwynne Watkins

© 2003 Nerve.com, Inc.



 


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