|
A series about hooking up through the ages. Strange as it may seem, the idea that sex is a "private" act is only a couple of centuries old. Medieval castles had only one bedroom and one bed — the private factory of the lord and lady for manufacturing heirs. Like a troop of bonobos, everyone else in the household bunked and fucked where they could. Though the Church insisted that naughty parts should be kept hidden at all times, sex in the premodern world, whether it took place between poultry in the barnyard, dogs on the city streets, or people out in the hayfields, was considered a part of life.
Public sex could even be public entertainment: When the English sent a delegation to the Duke of Burgundy in the 1470s, he honored them with free passes to the local bathhouses — and not so they could freshen up from the journey. Judging from contemporary illustrations, the Brits would have found large tubs meant to be shared by several people, together with attractive female attendants "skilled in the arts of Venus." Three hundred years later, the Marquis de Sade was regarded as a weirdo by his contemporaries not only for his habit of sticking crucifixes up his ass, but also because he preferred to hold his debauches in private or with only his trusty serving-man present. Proper eighteenth-century libertines, such as the members of Sir Francis Dashwood's Hellfire Club, considered public sex a form of elite male bonding. It was the nineteenth-century triumph of the bourgeois family that pushed sex into the bedroom and closed the door. Victorian morality was made possible by three things: the idea that the nuclear family should be the basis for both society and domestic architecture (and that children should sleep alone until they got married and moved out), the widespread use of coal that made it possible to heat a house with separate bedrooms, and the increased prosperity that made the first two affordable. By the early twentieth century, any other arrangement seemed so unthinkable that Freud insisted that for children to see their parents in coitu would probably turn them into serial killers. Still, the idea of public sex remained alive in back rooms, brothels, bathhouses and bawdy tales of ancient Rome — and, like any other appealing taboo, it was bound to be broken sooner or later. The swinging that got started among bomber pilots and suburbanites in the '50s stuck strictly to bourgeois conventions and usually involved fornicating in private (as is implied by the idea of the "key party"). But to counterculturists inspired by
|
In the 1970s, organizations like the Sexual Freedom League were organizing group gropes from Noe Valley to the Netherlands.
|
books such as Stranger in a Strange Land and The Harrad Experiment, group sex was the best thing for smashing conventional morality since LSD-spiked Kool-Aid. Soon, groups such as Jefferson Poland's Berkeley Sexual Freedom League and the Amsterdam-based Suck and SELF collectives (whose expatriate American members included Germaine Greer and Andrea Dworkin) were organizing group gropes from Noe Valley to the Netherlands. Other believers in this extreme iteration of free love included revolutionary groups such as the Weather Underground and communes such as northern California's Olompali. Yet the mostly white, middle-to-upper-class, college-educated professionals who picked up on the "group sex thing" in the '70s were a far cry from the hippies who had started it. As Tom Wolfe wrote in "The Me Decade and the Third Great Awakening," a 1976 essay, "It is an odd experience to be in De Kalb, Illinois, in the very corncrib of America, and have some conventional-looking housewife (not housewife, damn it!) come up to you and ask: ‘Is there much tripling going on in New York?' " Exclusive trysting places for the famous and beautiful, such as John Williamson's Sandstone retreat in California's Santa Monica Mountains, gained national notoriety, and even Jeff Poland was kicked out of the Sexual Freedom League when he protested their new policy of charging a cover to get into the orgies. No piece of real estate better epitomizes how sexual outlawry could become co-opted by commercialism than the basement of New York City's Ansonia Hotel — better known as Plato's Retreat. By that time, public sex
|
The AIDS epidemic shuttered Plato's Retreat by 1985, but the idea of group sex never quite died.
|
was old hat to the gay community: Plato's was originally called the Continental Baths, an upscale playground complete with a swimming pool, coffee shop, massage parlor, steam room and floor show. Bette Midler spent time as a featured performer at the Continental; when she mentioned the baths on the Tonight Show in 1970, an armada of straight couples descended on the place. The gay and straight markets mixed like massage oil and water, and by 1976 the club's new owner, Larry Levenson, had turned the Ansonia basement into a straight bathhouse. Before long, up to two hundred couples a night were forking over a $25 cover charge, plus a $5 six-week membership fee, for an unlimited buffet of bagels, lox, chicken salad, wine, Scotch (at least until the state liquor commission shut the bar down) and sex. The rules were simple: No single men were allowed in, no one had to do anything they didn't want to do, and the patrons had to enter and leave the orgy room in pairs. AIDS, declining revenues and the New York City Board of Health shuttered Plato's by 1985, but the idea never quite died. Pornography had introduced the idea of sex as performance and conditioned a new generation of voyeurs and exhibitionists, so the revival of the commercial sex party was all but inevitable. Events such as London's Fever Parties and the New York-based One Leg Up were being held regularly by the turn of the century. For the less adventurous,
|
Group sex hasn't lost its counterculture badge.
|
Cake NYC rented out entire nightclubs to throw lavish but softcore parties targeting professional women. The erotic and the commercial had become inextricably intertwined. Beyond such well-publicized but ultimately banal events, though, the spirit of rebellion still survives. Even as Rudy Giuliani was turning Times Square into a family-friendly playground in the late '90s, a reviving subculture of underground sex parties, such as the Slurp events thrown by Manhattan impresario Abby Ehmann, were embracing an explicitly non-commercial ideology. "Nothing is for sale, not even water," Abby told Hustler magazine in a 2001 article on her Slurp parties that regaled the reader with lurid and mostly invented tales of lesbian BDSM scenes and anonymous blowjobs. (In reality, Abby's parties, which draw an equal mixture of miscellaneous artists, perverts, Burning Man-types, amateur pornographers and other beautiful weirdos, hardly ever include anonymous blowjobs.) Group sex hasn't lost its counterculture badge, proving that some things will always be too outré for Madison Avenue — which is probably why, for a new generation of libertines, it has become as normal and as much a statement of belonging as it was in the eighteenth century. n°
©2006 Ken Mondschein and Nerve.com.
|
Commentarium (7 Comments)
Funny, I visit Weather Underground (www.wunderground.com) to, you know, check the weather! I wonder if they knew about the free love revolutionary group when they named their site....
This guy seems to be implying that swinging is a product of the 1950s and that pornography is a product of the 1980s! I wish he would get his facts straight. He also needs to do quite a bit more research into sex among multiple partners in this country (I write from personal experience). If this is an example of the quality of work expected from PhD candidates at Fordham, I'm never sending my children there!
What are you on about, DP? Of course there was porn before the '80s; the revolution there was that VCRs (and then the Internet) made it umbiquitous. And modern organized swinging did start in the
This whole essay is riddled with unsubstantiated assertions, with the worse being its main thesis: "... the idea that sex is a 'private' act is only a couple of centuries old." This is absolutely ridiculous.
From the point in evolution when humankind first gained enough cognitive wherewithal both to care and to make educated guesses about what others were thinking, sex has been chiefly a private act.
First, let's deal with the academically antiquated idea that the nuclear family is somehow an "invention" of the Victorian era, that it is merely some sort of cultural construct. Pair bonding is as old as the species. The "nuclear family" is merely what pair-bonding naturally leads to with enough wealth to wall you and your significant other off from your extended kin and your neighbors. The Industrial Age created the prosperity for the average person to do this. People did not have sex in the open ("... everyone else in the household bunked and fucked where they could") in front of kin and neighbors before the Industrial Age because they didn't care or because they thought it to be "natural"; it's because their lack of wealth gave them little option. Give them a little wealth, like the king had, and they build themselves a bedroom.
Pair-bonding became necessary when the evolving bigger brains of infants began to require more and more calories than a gathering mother could provide alone. Having daddy stick around and invest by gathering and providing was essential. However, daddy's genes would not long last if he blithely invested in another man's baby; the sexually jealous type invested in his own genes more successfully (and thereby permeated the gene pool) by keeping an eye on the wife. Creating cultures that inhibited wonton sexuality (mainly of the wife-figure in patriarchal societies) outside of pair-bonds acted as a safeguard against ramped cuckoldry. "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery." "Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbors Wife." These are old ideas. Far from wanting to take the Mrs. to the community orgy, history says that many men thought it better to make the wife dress and act asexually outside of the marriage bed. Sexual women are regarded often as culturally dangerous. Sexuality here is very much a private act; it's carried out away from the observation of other tribe members.
Of course the Mrs. does get her groove on occasionally with Grog in the neighboring tribe, but she does it furtively -- lest her husband or, just as badly, her own tribe finds out. Again, sexuality is carried out privately.
Women who develop a reputation for "getting around" became an object of mistrust among potential cuckolds, so women try to avoid that perception, because potential husbands will avoid them in turn. A woman who has trouble finding a single pair-bond mate with which to mate must instead extract bits resources by trading sex with many men as oppose to extracting a lot of resources from one. This unconscious reproductive strategy is what contemptuous men culturally label whoring. Once women get this tribal label they might as well make it a lifestyle because they seldom can go back to wife material status. Promiscuous women excite men in the short term because they unconsciously see a low-cost genetic-spreading opportunity, but for the long term they have contempt for promiscuous women because of the cuckold issue. In other words, many men may want to fuck Paris Hilton, but they don't want to marry her.
Public sex has almost always involved men with women of two categories: prostitutes and women who are financially self-sufficient enough to be beyond negative economic repercussions -- the latter being historically rare.
Men are attracted to public sex because merely spreading one's seed costs little in investment but can reap genetic payoff -- orgies offer a lot of opportunity for a man to spread his seed. The more powerful men can withstand social scrutiny and don't have to participate in the social contract of "let's insist that our women be asexual outside of the marriage bed so we men don't needlessly cuckold each other." Most historical examples of orgies involve relatively powerful men and their prostitutes (or "courtesans").
Sexual privacy is not an expression of Victorian era "repression." People not inclined to do it in front of others do not have "hang ups." Does free love ever work? It seldom did in the experimental utopian societies of the 19th century; people kept pair-bonding even when the charter of those societies forbade it. Mormon polygamists do not have orgies with their many wives; they usually engage in one-on-one sex (and the wives often carry resentment over intimacy toward the other wives).
In short, the tendency for sexually to be expressed privately is the norm of human societies, not some historical aberration as the author of the essay tries to suggest.
An awful lot of this is only technically true: a good number of even middling-income households had multiple bedrooms and beds in the pre-modern era, and the Calvinists can probably be held responsible for a lot of the closed doors/private lives movement you ascribe to the Victorians. In 1540's Geneva (or London) attempts to prosecute people for adultery was almost always based on innuendo rather than anything like a witness.
Very interesting article. I do have one quibble...
You mention Germaine Greer and describe her as an American.
She is actually an Australian!
Yours, Rick Pratchett, Sydney, Australia.
pratch@tpg.com.au
euY9Sw 52. "The road will be overcome by that person, who goes." I wish you never stopped and be creative - forever!!!
Now you say something