January 7, 2000
Say, kids! On the lookout for some top-quality smut at half the price? Why not try . . . Wal-Mart!
Well, sort of. We’ve all missed the boat, but for a few days last week, the guns ‘n’ everything retail giant famous for forcing record companies to sanitize album covers and lyrics started to resemble a cut-rate porn peddler. According to the L.A. Times, the company launched its redesigned website over the weekend, and, thanks to a database snafu, among the half-million items up for sale on the new site (“Always low prices”) was a selection of adult books. One Southern Californian woman who fired off an angry fax to the store’s headquarters ran a search for kids’ videos, and was directed to a line of erotic books, including such kid-unfriendly titles as Voyeur Video Guide and The Best of Gay Adult Videos. Oops.
Well, you certainly can’t knock their preparation or foresight, but so far, the city leaders of Otta, Norway, have fallen just short in their attempt to produce one of the world’s first “millennial babies.” The town, which staged an “erotic week” back in March complete with free hotel rooms and champagne for participating couples is offering gifts worth more than $6,000 to the first baby of the new year. But as of mid-week, they’re still waiting. The promotion, designed to repopulate the region north of Lillehammer, did result in three kids on December 30 and 31 close, as they say, but no cigar. The babywatch continues.
To Clothe and Protect
It may be The Year 2000, but one thing hasn’t changed a bit: drunk men still like their naked women, and they’re still not fond of the people who try to take them away.
That’s pretty much the lesson learned from a riot that took place in Whitefish, Montana, just after midnight on New Year’s Eve. According to the Associated Press, four nude women ran down the ski town’s Central Avenue fifteen minutes past midnight, trailed by a team of local police. The officers eventually nabbed three of the women and arrested them, at which point an army of 400 drunken revelers poured out of the surrounding bars and began pelting the police with snowballs, rocks, bottles and fireworks. The Whitefish cops, who called in backup from the Montana Highway Patrol, the sheriff’s department, the U.S. Border Patrol and the Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railroad Police (what, no National Guard?) arrested 12 men, who spent the rest of the night drying out in the town jail.
As for that fourth streaker, well, she’s still on the lam but the AP report says the cops “had a good description.” We’re sure.
Quotes of the Week
“He likes to borrow my knickers.”