This Week in Sex

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This Week in Sex   
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January 21, 2000

Ask Jeeves. Ask Him Anything.

Jeeves, the wholesome Web butler who answers search queries in plain language, knows a lot about a lot. But what exactly does he know about horny young co-eds who are waiting to talk to you? Looks like we may just find out the answer to that question; a CNET article reports that the people at Ask Jeeves have registered and and are toying with the idea of launching a separate search engine catering strictly to sex- and porn-related queries. The company’s also thinking about taking the kid-friendly Jeeves out of the picture entirely, going instead with a yet-to-be-determined new mascot for the adult site. Lord, would we like to be in on that brainstorming session.

Opera Buff

We here at Nerve knew it wouldn’t be long before our brand of literate smut took over the world of erotica. But we never guessed we’d replace opera . . .


Okay, technically we haven’t quite managed that (yet). But it might have seemed that way for a moment last week to Fred Harrop, a London pensioner whose friends ordered him an opera book from for his eightieth birthday. What arrived in the mail was no opera book — it was Nerve’s own Literate Smut, edited by Genevieve Field and Rufus Griscom. (Pardon the plug, but wanna buy it?) According to London’s Guardian newspaper, when Harrop’s friends complained to, they were told, “Well, if you think Mr Harrop is disappointed, imagine how the guy who
got the opera book feels.”


Said Harrop, who has suffered a couple heart attacks in the past but remained calm, “I wasn’t too shocked because I have worked in engineering for forty-two years,” leading us to wonder with renewed interest what exactly it is that engineers do.


And what did Harrop think of our work? “I had a look at the pornography but it wasn’t better than the opera,” he said. “Not for a man of eighty anyway.”

This Week in Animal Sex

How do you arouse a black beetle? If he’s a boy beetle, just show him a video of some hot, girl-beetle-on-girl-beetle action. That’s right — providing further proof that humans’ evolutionary lead is dwindling, researchers have demonstrated that female beetles simulate lesbian sex in order to attract more desirable mates.


The ruse works like this: female beetles, looking to attract larger mates in order to ensure greater reproductive success, mount one another. Male beetles — who don’t see so well — follow the pheromones. At the sight of two large, female beetles copulating, the smaller males tend to scurry away in fear, while the large males swagger up for some insect lovin’. Beetlejuice! The researchers, who published their report in the journal Nature, say their findings might explain in part how the gene that carries homosexuality reproduces itself.

The British Are Coming! (Part II)

Just a few months back, we mentioned a survey that claimed British teens are shagging one another at a world-record rate — a whopping 133 times a year on average per kid, according to the inquisitive folks at Durex, a (British) condom manufacturer. Now comes the bad news.


Whether it’s because they’re too shy or because they don’t want the Durex people nosing around in their sex lives, young Brits are shockingly reluctant to use condoms, according to research by a British sexual health charity. In fact, the study found that only 15 percent of British boys discuss contraception with their girlfriends, compared to 40 percent of Dutch kids. The upshot? You guessed it — the U.K.’s teen pregnancy rate leads all of Western Europe.

Quote of the Week

“Gay people . . . [don’t] . . . come on to very obviously heterosexual people like me. I always find gay people very respectful of the fact that I’m so obviously heterosexual.”

— The obviously heterosexual James Woods, in Movieline.

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©2000 Dan Reines and Nerve Publishing