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John Kerry and his wife, Teresa, demonstrate the sanctity of heterosexual marriage.

Nothing Hurts Worse Than the Wordplay

When we think “public flogging” (which we do approximately every seven minutes), we think of serfs being punished for hunting the king’s deer, self-flagellating monks, maybe the occasional adulterous wyf. Robin Hood stuff. What we don’t think is “a student bondage club at Iowa State University.” How narrow our worldview was. Cuffs, Iowa State’s student bondage club, has been charged with violating university rules after a “flogging demonstration” in December. Charges stated that group leaders “planned and implemented a demonstration at a scheduled Cuffs meeting involving the striking of another person(s) with a whip, belt, flogger, paddle, cane and hand with the intention of causing pain to that person.” Essentially, the administration is describing this as an assault, a violation of the University’s conduct policy and Iowa law. The violation is considered minor, however, and the students involved might get off with a slap on the wrist.* The group faces disciplinary action ranging from a simple warning to probation, which would require the group to demonstrate its ability to comply with rules. (Not, one would imagine, an unpleasurable task for a BDSM club.) — Carrie Hill Wilner

* – Sorry.

Newswire

Gay marriage update: San Francisco sues state of California over gay marriage ban; Schwarzenegger says such unions illegal.

Man gets penis
stuck in padlock.

Valentine’s kiss exhausts Italian.

Topless coffee hits Maine.

Danish = “from Denmark.” We Only Tell You Because We Forget Sometimes Too.

With abstinence education as the national standard, it’s clear that American teenagers are getting all their sex ed from “The OC.” (Not exactly adequate or explicit, no? Especially if said teens play our favorite drinking game — take a shot of Stoli every time Ryan casts a smoldering, intense stare at the camera — and thus promptly forget what little actual information they may have gleaned.)

Danish youngsters have refused to succumb to the same fate, however, and are rising up against their government in the grand tradition of, well, Danish kids and coprophilia. In one of Copenhagen’s busiest squares this week, ninth-graders distributed pirated copies of the banned video Sexstarz, which graphically discusses sex involving animals and feces. It should be noted that, um, Sexstarz was created by the Danish Health Ministry. For educational use.

We appreciate the value of subverting the system which is crushing your youthful soul. When all is said and done, however, does your youthful soul really want to know that much about bestiality, for example? And even if your youthful soul does, does your youthful soul really want to talk about it in health class? We’re not entirely surprised that Danish Health Minister Lars Loekke Rasmussen decided that the CD-ROM should actually not be distributed to 60,000 ninth-graders as part of a sex-ed campaign. The decision has stirred up debate beyond the classroom, with Christians referring to the video as “satanic,” and left-wingers calling the ban “hypocritical” and “neo-puritanical.” Rasmussen’s rationale: “What good is it to tell children and youngsters about sex with animals and sex with urine and excrement? It is my strong opinion that that is not the state’s role.” Indeed, sir! That’s what the internet is for, sir! — Carrie Hill Wilner

Erotobituary

If you thought “indie” was nothing but a euphemism for Hollywood stars
affecting that just-off-the-piste look while hobnobbing at Sundance,
then you don’t know Sarah Jacobson. The director, writer, and producer
of the coming-of-age film Mary Jane’s Not a Virgin Anymore died
on Feb. 13 at the age of 32, after a battle with uterine cancer. Though
Mary Jane — which is a raw, funny antidote to those
vaseline-lensed depictions of cherry-popping like Stealing
Beauty
— screened at Sundance in 1997, this debut did not lead
to a Matt-and-Ben style distribution deal.
Instead, Sarah formed a production company with her mom (Station Wagon
Productions) and quite literally sold her films out of the trunk of her
car. She coined the term Indiewood to describe the Harvey Weinstein
brand of independent cinema, but was more prone to promoting her fellow filmmakers than railing against the system. She
spoke frequently and passionately about D.I.Y. filmmaking and its roots
in punk rock and and pre-Internet zines. She never gave up on sticker
campaigns. Kim Gordon and Allison Anders were fans — and so was
Roger Ebert. Sarah Jacobson has a posse. — Emma Taylor

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