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This Week in Sex   
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February 25, 2000



Houston, We Have a . . . Um . . . Never Mind



At last, some NASA news we can all get excited about. According to a new book by French author Pierre Kohler, NASA astronauts experimented with space sex four years ago, in an attempt to find out which love-making positions work without the benefit of earth’s gravity. Kohler, himself a former trainee-astronaut, says that during one of NASA’s four co-ed space shuttle missions in 1996, a
(heterosexual) couple went where no couple had gone before. They allegedly tried out ten sex positions, six of which required the use of props — such as elastic belts and an inflatable tube similar to a sleeping bag — to keep them from floating apart.


    

Of course, the people at NASA deny Kohler’s claims, calling his documentation “fraudulent” and asserting that they “are not, have not, and do not plan to conduct any sex experiments.” And Area 51, by the way, is “just a dry lake bed.”


Virginia Is for Lovers?



Sodomites rejoice! A measure intended to
reduce the penalties for “crimes against nature” in Virginia passed that
state’s House of Delegates last week by a razor-thin vote of fifty to
forty-nine. The reform bill — not yet a law — wouldn’t actually
legalize sodomy, though it would reduce it from a felony to a misdemeanor.
The bill’s sponsor, Delegate Karen Darner (D-Arlington), has tried at least
six times in the past eight years to repeal the ancient prohibition against
consensual oral and anal sex, but finally settled for easing the penalty,
since a “crimes against nature” conviction currently carries a one- to
five-year jail sentence and the possible loss of voting rights. Said
Darner, “You might say it’s rarely enforced, but I say it’s selectively
enforced” — specifically against men seeking men in public places.



San Francisco Vice



Confused? Bi? You’re not alone. Don Johnson’s been there, too.


    

At least, that seems to be the gist of a report in the Globe, which
last week published the receipt from a 1998 shopping spree in which the
actor bought $664.17 worth of sex toys, lubricants and gay sex videos
(including Cop Daddies’ Playtime, Asian Studs and
Revenge) at a San Francisco adult media store. The supermarket
tabloid also published photos of a late-January trip in which the Nash
Bridges
star purchased videos with a more heterosexual bent, including
Hardcore Schoolgirls No. 8 and Luscious Latinas No. 2.
According to the story, Johnson then took the videos and a VCR to a local
motel for a three-hour viewing session with an unidentified friend.


    

Elliot Mintz, the spokesman for the married Johnson, told the Globe that the videos and assorted sex toys from the January purchase were for a bachelor party at the motel in question. As for the 1998 purchase, Mintz had, uh, “no comment,” but he did note that Johnson favors film noir, “particularly anything by Frank Capra.” Ah.


Mimi? There’s No Mimi Here



A while back, we reported that the folks at Ask Jeeves were kicking around the idea of launching a new site dedicated to answering all the untoward questions that get thrown at the stately Mr. Jeeves. Turns out that, after months of quiet contemplation on the matter (and a domain-buying spree, just in case), the Jeeves team has decided against the new search engine, citing concerns about maintaining a kid-friendly image. Instead, they’ll stick with their current policy — in which sex-themed questions bring up a jump screen warning away impressionable youth — and the world will never get to meet Mimi, the sex-savvy character the company had developed to be Jeeves’ sassy side-kick. Alas.



Quotes of the Week



“I never, ever considered having a sexual relationship with him.”




— TV bride Darva Conger, on her brief and apparently chilly
marriage to multimillionaire Rick Rockwell. The couple, hitched last week
on Fox’s Who Wants to Marry A Multimillionaire?, have separated amid
allegations that Rockwell abused a past fiancée. Like you hadn’t
heard.





“Don’t use the First Amendment. That’s some excuse to destroy our
children’s lives and souls.”




— Presidential candidate Alan Keyes, not a fan of the Bill of
Rights, on arguments against requiring anti-porn filters on Internet
services in public libraries.





“Hank tried to kiss me. He was constantly trying to grope me, and all the
other Tromettes agree, he cannot keep his small hands off our luscious
breasts.”




— Troma Entertainment star Heidi Sjursen, commenting in the
New York Post on her night out with Howard Stern regular Hank, the
Angry Drunken Dwarf.









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©2000 Dan Reines and Nerve Publishing