March 1, 2002
Coming to America
Feel that? Feel the electricity in the room? Yeah girl, you know what that
means, don't you? It means Anthony Berger's comin' to town!
Hang on, you don't know who Anthony Berger is? Why, he's only a
world-renowned Brazilian sexpert, author of the best-selling (somewhere)
Advanced Macking. (Yes, that's the name of his book. And no, we
didn't know him either until we read about him on something called
NCBuy.com.) Anyhoo, according to the Wireless Flash news service, Berger's
heading North for Spring Break to plug a new edition of the book, and
naturally, he's looking to score a little American booty while he's here.
Not that that distinguishes him in any way from your average frat-row
meathead, but apparently Berger's got some lofty goals. According to the
report, the twenty-nine-year-old Rio native — who claims to have slept with 170
women in his life — is looking to make it an even two hundred during his
stateside jaunt. But lest you ladies get think he's just some lecherous
lothario, know this: Berger can be quite a charmer. It ain't just the sex
that interests him, it's the American women, since he likes his gals
full-busted and, he says, Brazilian women have breasts like "tiny cherry
pits." Still, don't think that a nice full set is all you need to satisfy
ol' Anthony: the sexpert says his last sexual escapade, an orgy, was
"terrible because the girls were bored and unmotivated." Sounds like
someone's blamin' the victims, eh Anthony?
Czechs Do It with Machinery
Sex museums, those don't impress us. Maybe back in the day, sure —
when sex was still a dirty word and sex museum a
giggle-inducing juxtaposition. But nowadays, it seems like every major city
in Europe has some variation on the theme — you know, throw together a
couple dozen nudie shots and a donkey-show video, and boom, you've
got yourself a tourist attraction.
Well, not Prague. No sir, Prague does it with style. Already based in one
of Europe's hottest travel spots, curators in the Czech capitol weren't
satisfied the notion of opening just another booty Guggenheim. So
instead, they've opened a Sex Machines Museum. See the key
difference there? Instead of just a bunch of porn on the wall, the SMM
features everything from SM bondage racks to electric nipple clips to
Victorian anti-masturbation devices (damn those Victorians!). "There
are sex museums in cities all over Europe," museum operator Samuele Nubile
told the Prague Post. "We wanted to specialize in sex machines, to
show people that this also exists." Of course, city officials wish Nubile
wouldn't be so willing to share: "Foreigners might think we just leaped out
of the bush," says city hall spokesman Martin Kupka. And no, we don't
think that was meant as some sort of double-entendre.
Quotes of the Week
"I have been too lax too long in doing something really significant about
AIDS."
— Cutting-edge North Carolina senator Jesse Helms, speaking to
a group of Christian AIDS activists in Washington, as quoted by the
Associated Press. Helms leaves office next year after more than a century
of rampant homophobia.
"Sex makes you fast."
— Formula One racer David Coulthard, telling Ananova.com why
sex before a race is a good thing.
Commentarium (2 Comments)
On March 13 Fox TV will feature Tonya Harding and Amy Fisher in "Bad Girls: Celeb Boxing" --these two naughty chicks will put on gloves and box. A secret fantasy of mine is watching two babes wrestle in microthongs and then get into a hot sex scene with each other. I think many men and women would love to see these two in a hot porno after the gloves come off. I have been with several women who love playful spanking because they were so naughty (greeting me after work naked with a drink and then ordering me into the shower, for example) thinking about their first boyfriend joining us in the bedroom. Wasnt Harding featured in a home video with her former boyfriend?
"Sex Makes you Fast" is a good quote by a Formula 1 racer. Over 40 years ago I was out at Riverside Raceway in So California when it was a world class track. I got into the pits through a friend and I was 19 and amazed at the groupie babes that hung around drivers and the crews. Downtown Riverside (I am a native) was rocking after the races (Mission Inn bars, the Caravan Inn, et al) . Actress Jill St John was just one of many besides wannabees in tight capri pants, short shorts, spike heels, Fredericks bras and see through blouses, etc. Since then striking women in heels and not much else really turn me on. Bald men such as Stirling Moss was a notorious hound, who often stole wives and girlfriends from other men. Once old Casey Stengel of the Yanks was asked what he thought of sex before a game. He said, "It's not the sex that makes me nervous, it is what the boys have to go through to get it"...such as chatting up a babe until after midnight and then the schlupping until 4 or 5 am. Ask Joe Namath or JFK about sex making you fast and accurate. Old WWII fighter pilots often were at their best after a night with a British babe but the hangovers were probably worse as far as their alertness and skill taking on German targets. One old pilot told an English woman, "Stick with me baby and you'll be fartin' through silk"- reinforces the term "The Yanks are overpaid, oversexed and overhere."
Now you say something