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| Quote of the Week |
"We employ Muslim women refugees, use unionized factories, run a fair trade project in Brazil and our wooden dildos are made from naturally felled
trees."
British entrepreneur Sam Roddick on her ethical sex shop, Metro
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| Photo of the Week |
Perhaps upset that the "freedom fries" campaign didn't dissuade France from threatening to use its UN veto power, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld steps up the rhetoric against French president Jacques Chirac.
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| What's in a Name... |
New impotence drugs have been hitting the street faster than Anna Nicole Smith after a fistful of Vicodin. A month ago, the Eli Lilly Co. released Cialis in Europe; the company was promptly sued by a Mr. Albert Cialis, who didn't appreciate the association. The latest example of unfortunate cock-pill coinage comes from the good folks at Bayer, who are releasing a new drug in Britain next Tuesday. It's called Levitra. As in "levitate." As in what it makes your penis do. Kind of makes TWIS yearn for the days when drug names like cocktail dresses and Ben Affleck's acting ability would leave something to the imagination. Carrie Hill Wilner
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| Celebrity Sexposé #1 |
"It was definitely a real guy-fantasy thing. I think it is just part of experimenting. I was kind of drunk at the time. And I don't think the girl was a real lesbian. I'm being honest."
British pop star Geri Halliwell, a.k.a. Publicity Spice, on The Howard Stern Show. She confessed that she's had one same-sex encounter but, unlike Tony Blair, wasn't a slave to bush.
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| If You Suck Dick, the Terrorists Have Truly Won |
Call us jaded, but we thought that the fellatio story coming from Kennedy Middle School in Michigan was old news. (A girl went down on a boy in science class, kids these days, tsk tsk, etc.) Apparently we were unaware of the staggering international implications of this particular blowjob. After the incident, the school district sent a letter to parents which read, "Just like our country was shocked into awareness when, never-before acts of terrorism occurred in New York City, our district was shocked into awareness when middle-school students engaged in indecent acts in the classroom." While TWIS believes that the letter's inexcusable comma splicing and unconventional syntax ("never-before acts"?) are the real crimes here, we can't help thinking that if hordes of terrorists descended on the United States with nothing but oral sex on their minds, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, now would it? Further proof that Michigan is an alternate universe: the letter came to light when the fellated boy's parents filed a lawsuit against the school district, claiming their son had been victimized. CHW
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| Celebrity Sexposé #2 |
"I refuse to be boxed into the idea that, 'Oh, no, I can't have kids 'cause I'm gay.' I can have kids if I'm gay. And I can also get married and have a fantastic life. To all questions with my marriage, the answer to everything is yes. Do I have sex with my wife? Yes. Is it a real marriage? Yes. Am I gay? Yes."
Director Stephen Daldry (The Hours) who self-identifies as gay but is married to a woman on having his cake and eating it too.
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| News Quiz! |
This week it was reported that William Shatner''s ex-wife is suing the Star Trek star over what item?
a. A photo of her giving head
b. A photo of her giving head to Leonard Nimoy
c. Camel testicles
d. Horse semen
Scroll down for answer.
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| Pluto's Retreat |
Eating, sleeping, effortless auto-fellatio: why do people say "It's a dog's life" like it's a bad thing? Well, things are looking even better for privileged pooches in Berlin, where a German artist has announced he plans to open the world's first brothel for dogs. Karl-Friedrich Lentze, fifty-four, claims that dogs have been unfairly prevented from exercising their God-given right to pay for sex. Lentze says that admission to his canine flophouse will cost $30 in human tender and that his own Jack Russell terrier mix will serve as a bouncer to discourage unwanted guests. "Of course, we'll be happy to receive female and gay dogs, too. It's a democratic thing," Lentze told speechless reporters. "This is a form of satire that criticizes society," he said. "I used to paint and create sculptures. This is just the next step." Before you take another, better check your heel, 'cause something smells funny here. Grant Stoddard
Did we miss any sex in the news? Send tips to grant@nerve.com.
Answer to News Quiz: c
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Commentarium (16 Comments)
I like this new format. It's easy on the eyes, reads like a one-night-comedy-show on crack--in the nicest way of course :o) I look forward to read more of these. Great work, Grant. More please :o)
good stuff
This Week In Sex used to really suck. Now it's okay. Good work on the improvements, and losing all the little icons and other stupid visual diahhrea. Way to go.
_thank you_ for changing the format, (and for giving fair attribution to the writer(s)).
I miss the icons, but think this format is easier to read as well. I like the quotes.
hey,
the new format sucks. the other one rocked,
i found subtle humor in the icons and i
thought the visual aspect added
another, umm, dimension. the weekly picture
reminds me of a frat t-shirt.
fahgedaboutdatshit...
Is the new format going to stay? If so, let me just say I like it.
Apparently one out of four American women under 30 fantasize having lesbian sex. according to a global sex survey. Anyone see the women contestants on "Are You Hot" hugging each other, tit to tit as they showed off glistening bodies as they strutted their stuff in high heels and little bikinis? You just know several must have hooked up that night in their rooms for some pussy to pussy, nipple to nipple rubbing leading up to some oral 69 fun, maybe with one or two of the lucky studs who got to stand over a bed as the two babes licked and sucked his cock before taking both babes at once! On Fox TVs "Fastlane", Tiffany Thiessen was in a steamy hot tub session with another babe for some hot lezzy action. My girlfriend loves for me to put on a classic porno with Marilyn Chambers and Serena in a very hot late 70s video as the two hugged and kissed, pussy to pussy, leading up to an unscripted noisy session on a bed after much kissing and rubbing in a hot tub. It jes don' get no hotter! And last, Hooters Air flew from Atlanta to Virginia. Every man on board prayed for turbulence!
Comedian Dick Smothers son, Jr, age 38, has embarked on a career in porn. He wants to become the Orson Welles of adult movies. At his age I was hung up on casual sex with a string of women, fueled by abusive drinking. Smothers sounds like a sex addict, more than just a lover of babes. I wish him luck, and he had better protect himself against the over 20 varieties of STDs. Remember John Holmes, dead of AIDS in 1988. There is a demand for flashy porn, with plots and a storyline that women can appreciate, besides hot studs and beautiful women. My girl likes women directed porn, esp. with some girl on girl sex before they both get taken by a well hung handsome guy who teases both!
what about iraq? what about the people having sex getting blown to bits in iraq? what about the kids that have never had sex but been curious about the opposite or the same sex in iraq? what about the babies just born after um some sex some months ago in iraq? what about it? will you guys document it?
Yes, that's what I was wondering. Nerve has been very quiet about all this. People are DYING. People are going to DIE. The opposite of life. Sex.
Yes, Yes. Why hasn't nerve commented on this?
Because nerve's thing is rimming and dicks and christina agurella and americans who love hemingway and fitzgerald and 'being good for you if you're good for me'
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