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This Week in Sex   
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June 9, 2000



Rock the Vote



This fall, Al Gore and George Bush will kiss a thousand babies, wear a
thousand brown suits and launch a thousand mom-friendly proposals — all in
a transparent effort to bridge the so-called “gender gap.” But as any
heavily hit-upon woman will tell you, these guys are simply trying too
hard. What they need is a little sex appeal. In fact, what they really need
is “The Sexy Boys.”


    

Sounds silly, right? Maybe so — but it’s working wonders in Mexico,
where about 150,000 citizens of a poor neighborhood just outside of
Mexico City reportedly gathered last week to watch a team of five male
strippers — the aforementioned “Sexy Boys” — strut their stuff in
a two-hour show sponsored by the long-ruling Institutional Revolutionary
Party (PRI). The men impersonated superheroes and threw their clothing in
the air in time to music, and by the end of the show they were down to
white boxers that spelled out “Vote for PRI.” According to at
least one poll, PRI’s presidential candidate has since pulled ahead of the rival
party’s guy — mainly due to the female vote. Wonder what Naomi Wolf
would say to that.



Condomania



In Accra, Ghana, more than twelve hundred locals joined in a day of celebration, dancing, singing,
and drama this week to celebrate the arrival of the female condom, according to a press release from the condom’s developers. Ghanaian First Lady, Nana Konadu Agyeman Rawlings, addressed the crowd, calling the introduction of the new product a “long-awaited global dream come true for Ghanaians.” Rawlings hailed the contraceptive device as “an important extra choice” for women in the HIV-ravaged country, where economic and social circumstances leave many women at the mercy of men who may or may not want to wear condoms.



Sin.com



Well, it’s finally official: engage in sex chat, go to Hell.


    

Alright, so maybe it’s not that simple. But Famiglia Cristiana, an
Italian Catholic newsweekly close to the Vatican, has come out firmly
against virtual sex. Editor-in-chief Father Antonio Sciortino, who writes a
regular advice column in the magazine, told a curious Web surfer that
“virtual reality can be just as much of a vice as reality made up of facts
and actions.” Until someone builds a virtual confession booth, of course.



Fanny Packs



When stripper Mary Gale visited the Manhattan office of plastic surgeon Dr. Elliot Jacobs for a pair of career-enhancing implants, she was none too pleased with the gorgeous new set of breasts she left with. Why on earth not, you ask? Well, because in plastic surgery, as in real estate, there are three crucial elements to a successful sale: location, location and location. And Gale’s new boobs
were conspicuously located on the wrong side of town.


    

Specifically, Jacobs had implanted a pair of breast implants into Gale’s
butt. Jacobs claims the procedure is normal — Gale had asked him to enhance
her gluteus minimus, so he enhanced it. He says he explained the procedure,
and insists that the implants would have “contoured” to the shape of her
body over the course of a year if she hadn’t had them removed. But Gale
— who’s suing him — says he never mentioned the breast
implants, which she says, naturally, “looked like two [breasts] on my butt.”




Quotes of the Week



“We offered to send her to a health spa for six weeks and told her that she
would look better than she’s ever looked in her life. She thought about it
but said no.”




— Playboy executive Gary Cole in the New York Post, on
the magazine’s efforts to persuade Monica Lewinsky to pose nude.





“I threw a party but the cattlemen couldn’t come.”




— From a Seattle-area billboard sponsored by People for the Ethical
Treatment of Animals. The ad, which features a bikini-clad woman holding
links of raw sausage, focuses on the connection between eating meat and
male impotence.





“I’m a dildo, Harvey. I’m a dildo, Harvey.”




— Mantra repeated on command by Miramax mogul Harvey Weinstein’s
personal assistant, according to a report in the Post.









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©2000 Dan Reines and Nerve Publishing