This Week in Sex

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This Week in Sex   
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June 23, 2000

Footy Over Booty

The beauty of international sporting competition is that it allows people
from all different backgrounds to come together and learn about one
another. Take, for example, the European Cup 2000, co-hosted by Holland,
where Dutch prostitutes have learned that European soccer fans love their
soccer. Boy do they love their soccer.


So much so, unfortunately, that it’s cutting into business. Sure, you’d
expect that the presence of hundreds of thousands of rowdy soccer fans
would be a goldmine for Holland’s sex workers, but it ain’t. Complained one
brothel keeper from The Hague in a Reuters report, “In our club,
footballers and ladies appear to compete against each other, and the men
seem to prefer footballers.” And then there are the British supporters, who
actually do show a little interest in the women around them — though
it’s not necessarily welcomed. “They are either a pain in the backside or
too drunk to perform,” said Mariska Majoor of the Prostitutes Information
Center. According to the report, most of The Hague’s prostitutes have given
up on their hometown and taken their business on the road, hoping for
better luck in the towns where the games are actually going on. Memo to all
those Sydney brothels scrambling to expand in time for the Summer Games:
You’ve been warned.

Teachers Are People, Too

Uh oh. Looks like tolerance is contagious.


First there was the ruling by the Vermont Supreme Court (and subsequent legislation) extending
the legal benefits of marriage to same-sex couples in that state. And now,
just one state to the east, one of New Hampshire’s oldest and most
tradition-bound prep schools has voted to allow gay and lesbian faculty and
staff to serve as dormitory parents. In a near-unanimous vote, the
trustees and faculty of the 219-year-old Phillips Exeter Academy ended a
policy under which gay faculty members, who like all faculty are required
to live in dormitory apartments for at least ten years, weren’t allowed to
live with their partners (unlike their heterosexual colleagues, who are).
Said Cary Einhaus, an Exeter college advisor, who is gay, “It would have
helped me when I was a teenager if I had someone I could identify with.
For kids who may be questioning their sexuality or know they’re gay, to not
have anyone to talk to or relate to is overwhelming.” The policy, which
mirrors one already adopted by Exeter rival Andover Academy, goes into
effect for the 2001-2002 school year.

Let’s Hope She Kept the Extra Parts

And the winner of the George A. Custer Lack of Foresight Award for the year
2000 goes to . . . ?


Well, the year ain’t over yet, so we hate to be hasty, but an Iranian woman
named Maryam has got to be an early favorite. Maryam, twenty-five, wants a
sex change operation so that she can live as a man in male-dominated Iran.
Sounds reasonable — and there’s no prohibition in Iran against such a
procedure. So what’s the problem? Well, until last year, Maryam was
a man — his name was Mehran — but he decided to become a woman
over the stringent objection of his family. Now, after spending a little
time as a female in a country where women can’t board a bus by the
front door, Maryam told the daily Iran, “I can’t go on living with
the new identity, after years of living as a man with no restrictions.
First I thought I would get used to it, but life has become painful and
intolerable. So I want a new sex change.”


And a nation of women smirk from behind their government-required veils.

Quotes of the Week

“Most of my life I’ve gone out with blokes because I haven’t been terribly
comfortable about being a lesbian.”

— Newly out singer/priest Sinead O’Connor, in Newsweek.

“The final scene in Boogie Nights. That’s what makes me want
to work with Mark again.”

— Actor George Clooney, referring to the famous shot of co-star Mark Wahlberg’s prosthetic, uh, talent, as quoted on E!

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©2000 Dan Reines and Nerve Publishing