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This Week in Sex   
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June 29, 2001

Can’t Spell Squash Without an A and Two S’s . . .



We’re going to say something here that might be a little controversial. It may ruffle some feathers, may inspire some angry letters, may even spark a little heated discussion. Ready?


    

Ain’t nothing sexy about squash.


    

Yeah, yeah, we know. We’re kind of going out on a thin limb here, but if you ask us, running around in a glass room with goggles on, hitting a tiny black ball off a wall, just doesn’t scream out “hot times.” Unless. Unless, that is, you do it in a thong. ‘Cause, let’s face it, squash in a thong is sex, or just about. Seems a little uncomfortable too, but that’s neither here nor there.


    

Unfortunately for the Women’s International Squash Players’ Association (WISPA), the issue of squash in a thong is suddenly an issue. According to a Reuters report, the sport’s governors got something of a fright earlier this month when one Vicky Botwright announced plans to wear the fanny floss — along with a revealing sports bra — in her second-round match at the British Open. WISPA jumped in to request that Botwright not take that step (“We are concerned that the referees will find it difficult to concentrate on the play,” said WISPA director Andrew Shelley at the time), and the twenty-three-year-old acquiesced, but the governing board was unable to draft legislation this week that would officially outlaw such a uniform. Which means that there’s nothing stopping Botwright from showing off her Botwright in future events.




Quotes of the Week


“It wasn’t an affair. It was just poom-bah-boom!”




— German tennis legend Boris Becker speaking in Sports Illustrated of the broom-closet romance that led to a new daughter — and the end of Becker’s marriage.





“I’m not one of those guys who have group sex sessions with a bunch of girls in the room and all the fellas are high-fiving each other. I do my thing behind closed doors.”




— Singer-actor Tyrese, on the sex scenes in his new movie, Baby Boy, as quoted in Reuters. (Note to self: Scratch Ty off invite list for next group sex session.)





“I am reckoning on a continuous coming and going.”




— German brothel owner Berti Wollersheim, on the purchase of three stretch limousines to be used as a rolling extension of his business, as quoted in the Dusseldorf Express. Though our mind tells us otherwise, our heart thinks the pun was unintended.





“The future of our continent is bleak and the prospect of extinction of the entire population of a continent looms larger and larger.”




— Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo last week at the U.N. General Assembly session on AIDS. Unfortunately, there is no joke to be had here.


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©2001 Dan Reines and Nerve.com, Inc.