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July 28, 2000

Out of the Closet and into the Streets!

How would you react if you found out that your car was, ahem, gay?

    

We know, it seems a little far-fetched. But try telling that to the

millions of right-thinking Subaru owners out there who've recently gotten

inklings that their four-wheeled chariots just might be, uh, that

way (not that there's. . . . oh, you know). It seems that the car company

has enlisted the New York–based ad agency Poux Co. to produce a

gay-friendly campaign, with slogans like, "It's not a choice, it's the

way we're built," and ads depicting cars with XENA LVR license plates. In fact, the campaign has

been so successful that gay drivers are reportedly lining up to buy the

cars that many are calling "Lesbarus." Not that Poux Co. founder Paul Poux

intended for the ads to be overtly pro-gay — at least not to everyone

who sees them. "It's apparent to gay people that we're talking about being

gay, but straight people don't know what's going on," Poux told the

Washington Post. Maybe not, but they're catching on quick — and

some of them ain't too happy about it. Said one Subaru owner in a chat room

on the company's website: "It made me very pissed for some dumb-ass to call

my car gay." Ah, now there's a man secure in his sexuality.

Up from the Underground

The weather in England has never been particularly hospitable to outdoor public sex. But while that's unlikely to improve anytime soon (global warming notwithstanding), one thing may be about to change: the law prohibiting sex in the great outdoors.

    

Jack Straw of the British Home Office this week proposed that

laws restricting public sex be revised, making it illegal only when those

involved have reason to believe that their actions would cause "alarm or

distress or give offence" to others, according to the Daily Mail.

The revision is designed in part to abolish any distinction in law between

heterosexual and homosexual sex, since gay sex in public — including

acts in public restrooms — are outlawed as "outraging public decency."

But to all you Brits out there who are planning to get nekked and

head outside for some afternoon delights: hang on. After all, there are a

few folks who may not want this law to go through — including

those who fear that it could open the way for public sex in places like

nightclubs, where it's far less likely to cause "alarm or distress."

And Speaking of Public Lasciviousness . . .

Maybe David Calhoun should have known there'd be trouble. But then,

hindsight is always so clear, isn't it?

    

After all, how could Calhoun, owner and general manager of the Beaver Creek

golf course in Oakland Township, Michigan, have known what would transpire

when he rented his course to a group of men and women from nearby Detroit?

So what if the golfers were all regulars at Mannequins, a Detroit topless

bar? And big deal if the women, too, were all affiliated with the same bar

(though not, it goes without saying, as customers)? Oh sure, maybe there

was liquor present — plenty of it — but how the hell could

Calhoun have foreseen that the Mannequins girls would actually . . . get

naked?

    

Calhoun has apologized to the local community.

Quotes of the Week

"I may end up taking advantage of myself. Maybe I'll even tie myself

up."

— Poor, lonely Winona Ryder, on her prospects for love now that

she's beau-less, in Bazaar magazine.

"To use someone who is dead in this way is profoundly tasteless. What on

earth is the matter with people nowadays?"

— British Shadow Home Secretary Ann Widdecombe, on plans to

show a film on a giant screen in London's Leicester Square that

depicts an actress dressed as Princess Diana crossing and

uncrossing her legs, à la Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct.

next week>

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©2000 Dan Reines and Nerve.com, Inc.