July 2430, 1999
Naughty Net Nanny
Finally, an online service that screens out all those annoying pictures of your cousin Eddie’s cocker spaniel and whittles the Net down to its glorious essence: sex.
Filling a void that suddenly seems completely obvious, Canadian adult entertainment company Nescom has launched Adult Cyberspace (ACS), an AOL-style subscription-based network of websites that promises high quality porn and nothing but. ACS plans to be a haven for legal smut (read: no child porn) and to improve the surfing experience. (It will ban, among other things, pop-up ads that scourge of adult sites from the network.) And, since ACS is viewable only through a special browser available at the company’s site, the network’s addresses will read as acs://domain/index.html. Which means that ACS can now control (and sell) a whole new slate of lucrative Web domains acs://sex/ for example that have either been claimed on the http-driven Web or banned by the obscenity-phobic domain-name cops.
“We are radically changing the face of adult entertainment on the Internet,” says Nescom’s Jackie Barnard. Still, not everyone’s convinced.
“We’ve had enough trouble getting people to download a plug-in, let alone dial up a different network or use a different browser,” a skeptical Danni Ashe, the breas er, brains behind the ultra-successful Danni’s Hard Drive, told Wired News. Plus, Ashe points out, ACS’s product purity might prove to be a drawback; even the most avid porn fan will eventually lose interest. “Adult consumers aren’t only consumers of adult content,” Ashe says. “They are also consumers of other things.” Like, say, Kleenex?
Some online services are born dirty, some achieve dirtiness and some have dirtiness thrust upon them. Apparently This.com, the “child-safe” Internet service provider launched last week and backed by a panel of conservative moralists such as William Bennett and Ralph Reed, falls into the latter category.
At $21.95 a month, This.com is part of a recent trend of “filtered” ISPs
which promise to block out the “poisonous” adult content available on the
Web at sites like, well, like this one think of it as the anti-Adult Cyberspace. As part of its homepage the newly launched company included an embedded search engine, the technology provided by GoTo.com. Only one problem: According to a CNET News.com story, visitors who search for sexually explicit content using this unfiltered search engine will find exactly what they’re looking for . . . and the results page appears framed by the This.com website.
But fear not: This.com chief executive Brad Daniel is on the case “I
just called our Webmaster,” Daniel told CNET News.com, “and told him we
need to put a warning label near the search box.”
Oh yeah, that’ll keep the kids away.
That’s Not a Banana Seat, Honey
In what may just be a shameless attempt to boost circulation, Bicycling magazine is claiming in its August issue that, contrary to popular belief, prolonged pedalling does not lead to male impotence. (This after the New York Times reported last month that “studies have shown a link between cycling and decreased blood flow to the genitals, numbness and impotency.”) In fact, argues Bicycling contributor Joe Kita, biking can lead to better sex, increased libido . . . and even a larger gear set.
According to Kita, cycling improves blood circulation throughout the body, including to the sexual organs, making sex more pleasurable. Kita also cites research and empirical evidence that indicates that cycling heightens the sex drive, increases sexual endurance, strengthens the muscles used during intercourse and increases the level of orgasm-inducing endorphins released into the body. The topper: cycling slims the fat that builds up around the base of a man’s penis. Since that fat actually reduces penis size, eliminating it has the opposite effect. Time to buy stock in Schwinn.
We Said Prostitute, Not Destitute
Bangladeshi prostitutes who were rounded up by police and placed in a state-run home for destitute women went on a hunger strike this week in an attempt to return to their chosen profession.
The 300-odd women were all legally registered sex workers. Though it’s
frowned upon in the socially conservative Islamic nation, Bangladeshi law
allows sex work for women sixteen and older who can prove that they have no other means of support. The women were taken from a 111-year-old brothel near
Kashimpur to the Kashimpur Vagrants Center, a complex surrounded by
ten-foot-high walls and barbed wire. The arrests, made amid increasing
political pressure against the sex trade in Bangladesh, spurred rioting in
which some fifty protestors most of them prostitutes were beaten
“They are being given everything a normal human being needs,” police
officer Abdur Razzak said of the conditions in the state-run vagrants
center. “But they are not happy.” Another officer explained why: “They need sex, money, cigarettes, drugs and alcohol.” Well, no wonder.
Quote of the Week
“I don’t want to get real specific, but to me it’s so easy where it is and men never seem to be able to find it. You’re like, ‘It’s right there!’ When they do find it you wish that they hadn’t because they’re really rough . . . they’re pushing it like it’s an elevator button.”
Bound (but clearly not gagged) star Jennifer Tilly in the August issue of Girlfriends magazine, explaining why women have a natural edge over men when it comes to pleasing women.