September 1, 2000
Nice Stroke, Boys!
Nobody knows yet where the 2024 Summer Olympics will be held, but that’s not stopping a bunch of swimmers in Linz, Austria, from getting an early start on the competition. And we mean early.
In an attempt to challenge prevailing stereotypes about sexual virility, the organizers of the Ars Electronica arts festival in Linz are holding sperm races as part of this year’s event. According to Wired News, the races, which are open to all, er, comers, will make use of a CASA, or Computer Assisted Sperm Analyzer, set up in Linz’s town square. Gerfried Stocker, the festival’s director, explained that the CASA measures “the quality of sperm, the density, the mobility, the speed and the pH value.” Participants, who may remain anonymous if they wish, will nonetheless be asked to provide a series of personal details, including education, physical characteristics and even automobile of choice; the women of Linz are then invited to bet on the winner. Said Stocker, “By
Standards boards can be so fickle.
Such is the lesson learned by British adult video store owner Nick Griffin, who was charged with fifteen violations by York trading standards officers this week for selling sex videos that were just not sexy enough for the standards chiefs’ tastes. According to a report in The Sun, Griffin was busted after customers complained that he was selling cheesy ’70s sex comedies under the banner of hardcore porn and charging way too much for it, to boot. Griffin reportedly priced several movies, including Talk Naughty to Me, Confessions of a Sex Maniac and
Perhaps the duped customers should have known something was up: Secrets of a Sensuous Nurse, for one, stars Bond girl Ursula Andress and the decidedly un-hardcore Jack Palance.
To Honor, Love and Keep Your Pants On
She’s a wealthy fashionista who’s got a thing for the pool boy. He’s a gadget freak with the same weakness. So what do you get the couple that has everything . . . everything, that is, except for a trusting relationship? The answer to that question, coming soon to a catalog near you: matching his-and-hers chastity belts!
Well, to be precise, they’re “chastity timers,” and they’re the brainchild of Italian lawyer-turned-sexologist Giuseppe Cirillo. According to a report in the London Guardian, the small electronic devices attach to the elastic band in a regular pair of men’s or women’s underpants and measure how often and for how long the garments are removed. Cirillo,
Quote of the Week
“Here I am, seventy years old, and the girls eighteen, nineteen and twenty