This Week in Sex

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This Week in Sex   
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October 6, 2000

Dutch Treat

Well it’s not as though sex-for-hire was illegal in Holland
— after all, the unfettered “window shopping” prostitution in
Amsterdam’s red-light district has for years attracted horny tourists from
around the world. But actual brothels — above-board, full-fledged
houses of ill-repute? Those are illegal. Or at least, they were. But
not anymore.


Continuing their ongoing effort to be the most sex-positive nation, the Dutch this week made bordellos fully
legal businesses, subject to the same tax laws and regulations as every
other business. The change, a result of legislation enacted last year by
Queen Beatrix, was hailed by sex-worker advocates, such as the prostitutes
trade union “The Red Thread.” “Prostitution has become an official
occupation,” declared author and columnist Carrie — just Carrie —
at a celebration inaugurating the law. Under the new legislation, sex
workers will have to pay taxes, but they’ll also enjoy standard worker
benefits along protections from the state, such as the government-backed
right to refuse a customer.

Achtung, Helmut!

A while back we relayed the news
that German men were leaving their women, er, “unsatisfied” in the sack
— or so suggested a survey in the popular Bild newspaper. At
the time, the women surveyed complained that their partners neglected them
and that they treated sex as a “required duty,” as if they always had
something more pressing to tend to. As it turns out, maybe they do.
According to a new survey from Focus magazine, Germans — both
men and women, actually — are at least a bit detached when it
comes to their carnal duties. According to the poll, of 621 people
surveyed, only forty-five percent actually switch off their cellular phones
during sex — about the same number who turn them off while at a
restaurant. By contrast, fully fifty-eight percent switched off their
phones at the movies. How will the race survive?

Fashion Faux Pas

You could, if you’re so inclined, see it as a simple matter of etiquette:
Anthony Calabrese gave Jodi Ketterman an ankle bracelet that Ketterman
didn’t want to wear — something about it clashing with her business
suit, not to mention the fact that it was a big, tacky thing that she
wouldn’t want to wear anyhow. But, adamant as she was, Ketterman figured
Miss Manners wasn’t the advisor she needed. Instead, she turned to her


Not that the twenty-nine-year-old Clevelander is some kind of litigious
nut, mind you. Calabrese, after all, is a Cuyahoga County Common
Pleas Court judge, and the bracelet was one of those human LoJack
numbers, the kind used to keep house-arrestees and pre-trial flight risks
from straying too far from home. And being that Ketterman — who faces
charges that she and a former county prosecutor collaborated to fix an
earlier charge of receiving stolen goods — is an exotic dancer, she
figured the electronic bracelet was more than an inconvenience. In
fact, it kept her from doing her job, considering that it’s tough to take it
off, take it all off, when you can’t take off your ankle bracelet.
Ultimately the judge listened to reason, reports the Cleveland Plain
allowing Ketterman to go bare-ankled as long as she checks in
daily with a parole officer while awaiting trial. Meanwhile, Assistant
Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Rick Bell chimed in with this helpful
suggestion: “It would’ve given her one more place to put the dollar bills.”
Smart ass.

Quotes of the Week

“I always feel I might go either way for a box of chocolate.”

— Newly out septugenarian bisexual gossip columnist Liz Smith
displaying an oddly Gumpian attitude toward sex in Us Weekly.

“I’ll never forget the sight of the wicketkeeper crouching down behind the
wicket. The look on his face was a picture. You could see him cringing
every time a ball was bowled.”

— British cricket player Andrew Jennings, on the nude match his
team staged by the light of car headlights in West Yorkshire, England.

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©2000 Dan Reines and, Inc.