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| Quote of the Week |
"I like to look. They've got beautiful bodies."
Barbara Walters of The View, describing what she does when surrounded by nude women in a hot tub
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| Consider This a Mental Palate Cleanser |
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| Christmas Came Early |
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Ever the vanguard in the discourse on civil liberties, Abercrombie & Fitch has voluntarily stopped selling the Christmas edition of its quarterly catalogue. We were hoping they'd decided this year's content softcore pictures of pretty naked people in creeks was not suitably risqué. (In previous years, we've enjoyed layouts depicting Santa et elves engaged in BDSM and advice on seducing nuns.) Not the case, however. There's been a massive effort by various groups that make massive efforts about this sort of thing to get the quarterly pulled. A&F's official line is that it was removed to make room for a perfume display. Capitulation Pour Femme, maybe?
And as much as we'd like to get worked up in Abercrombie's defense naked people being great and what all we can't entirely throw ourselves behind a company that uses nudity to sell chinos. Carrie Hill Wilner
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| Class Action |
Sex in the classroom sounds like a decent day at school
to us. And if it had actually happened, one New York University video-production class would have had aspiring cinematographer Paula Carmicino to thank. Sadly, this week the student's proposed final project was nixed by the school's administration.
Ms. Carmicino, 21, planned to intersperse thirty-second clips of a couple having sex with scenes depicting more mundane activities, like watching television and reading the paper. The video, titled "Animal," was intended to illuminate the ways in which we "censor ourselves during the day when we're not having sex," Carmicino said. (Unfortunately her original concept, which was intended to depict the strict avoidance of undergrad artwank twaddle, never got out of the gate either.)
Earlier this week, the school newspaper published a front-page article decrying the injustice. Now half of the university's undergrads have a new cause, because, you know, bitching about taxes, Medicare, the cost of prescription drugs, or the war in Iraq is so passé. We're all for sex in public places, but maybe Ms. Carmicino should make life a little easier for herself and learn from fellow student Lisa Estrin. Estrin, 19, apparently made a film showing simulated sex between two stuffed toys, Minnie Mouse and Lamb Chop. Now that's art. Tobin Levy
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| Law & Order: Special Restrooms Unit |
When waiting in line for the bathroom, we hate women. It's a miserable purgatory, standing in front of that locked door with the little stick-figure-in-a-dress on it (or maybe something like "cowgirls" or "shorties" if we're in a saucier establishment). We even get a tad chauvinistic, thinking that maybe women are feeble-minded and vain and WHAT THE FUCK COULD SHE POSSIBLY BE DOING IN THERE IT'S REALLY NOT THAT HARD. Seriously. We've also had a few nasty altercations with men who resent us for using their ever-available restrooms. (Doesn't go over as well in rural Greece as it does at our corner bar, let us tell you).
Well, someone at City Hall has been similarly irked. On Wednesday, New York's City Council introduced legislation that would require large buildings and public spaces to have a two-to-one ratio of women's to men's bathrooms. This is the best idea ever. This is why we have governments. Concerns have already been voiced that, instead of building new restrooms, building managers will simply convert men's rooms into women's. We're more concerned that the bitch who thinks it's really important that she try on EVERY SINGLE shade of lipstick she owns RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE will be further encouraged. Carrie Hill Wilner
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| Image of the Week |
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VGL XXL-HUNG FOSSILIZED OSTRACOD
in town this week only!
Special talents: exhibitionism, J/O vids, world's oldest penis
Age: 500 million yrs.
Stats: Hung one-third of body length!!! C4URself!
Available for incalls; reasonable rates!
Contact: Dr. David Siveter, researcher, University of Leicester
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Commentarium (8 Comments)
The problem at hand is that there are people who wait in line for the bathroom for a period of time deemed civically unacceptable. For the sake of argument lets assume this is an issue we think its appropriate for the government to regulate. Regulations could address this issue directly for instance by mandating that bathrooms must be sufficiently abundant to ensure a restroom wait of no longer than one minute on average and five minutes during peak usage. Instead we have at best a slipslod remedy that may work perfectly well for the opera but will fail miserably during the monster truck rally. Fundamentally, the proposal as described provides no more incentive to open women's restrooms than it does to close men's restrooms. The proposal is the product of a mindset that regards men as an unjustly priveledged class which therefore maintains that equality can be readily achieved by sacraficing the welfare of the man for the welfare of the woman. Insofar as this is 2003 or insofar as you have ever, even just once, compared the radically divergent conditions of men's and women's restrooms located in the same facility, we can see that the adversarial mindset is wholly without merit and orthogonal to promoting the welfare of all. Demand adequate bathrooms determined by a sex-free metric, not a hardwired 2:1 ratio.
Pushing sexual images on teens and preteens is wrong, but when I see the very violent images on video games that are out there, I'd rather have my 21 year olds taking in the A&F catalog. We all know the reality of STDs and AIDS, ad nauseum as outcomes to unbridled sex, but I think the young beautiful bodies in the catalog are wonderful, and they remind me of the heyday of Blacks Beach, north of San Diego in the mid 70s. It was great, frequented by many young students from UCSD, including many women who enjoyed nudity, volleyball and meeting guys who offered them cold beer, joints and hot sex that night at secluded homes.
Worlds Oldest Penis. One third the body length? Not even John Holmes could claim that, let along "Long Dong Silver" of the infamous 1991 Anita Hill case. I was hoping Leno or Letterman would comment about the penis, but they missed this one, I think.
How ironic that the A&F Christmas Catalog is catching hell for showing nude guys and girls, while PG13 movies show violent images leading to R movies, such as the gruesome "Kill Bill", a grotesque theater of blood. What the hell is wrong with Dobson and the other Bible thumping fanatics? Sure, risky sex can lead to STDs, including AIDS and unwanted pregnancies. We all know that safe sex is NOT having a lookout in the parking lot, dont we kids?
Obviously, those chicks are not trying on lipstick, they're just trying to do some coke real quick. Something that some writers should have some simpathy for...
Put a timer above the bathroom door [visible inside and out]. After 3 minutes, loud PA inside says "WIPE DAT ASS AN MOVE IT OUT", or some other gentle suggestion. Other buildings might choose to have a video display activate after 3 minutes, showing the folks outside what's happenin' in thar.
Should I take it that Grant isn't coming back then?
q1: When did A&F start showing nude chicks in their catalog? q2: Are the chicks a response to quell a customer base anxious about being associated with softcore gay porn? In any case, I approve of this development towards frothy unlicensed bisexuality.
Now you say something