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Weekend Review
Quote of the Week

“I like to look. They’ve got beautiful bodies.”

— Barbara Walters of The View, describing what she does when surrounded by nude women in a hot tub

Consider This a Mental Palate Cleanser

Christmas Came Early

Ever the vanguard in the discourse on civil liberties, Abercrombie & Fitch has voluntarily stopped selling the Christmas edition of its quarterly catalogue. We were hoping they’d decided this year’s content — softcore pictures of pretty naked people in creeks — was not suitably risqué. (In previous years, we’ve enjoyed layouts depicting Santa et elves engaged in BDSM and advice on seducing nuns.) Not the case, however. There’s been a massive effort by various groups that make massive efforts about this sort of thing to get the quarterly pulled. A&F’s official line is that it was removed to make room for a perfume display. Capitulation Pour Femme, maybe?

And as much as we’d like to get worked up in Abercrombie’s defense — naked people being great and what all — we can’t entirely throw ourselves behind a company that uses nudity to sell chinos. — Carrie Hill Wilner

Newswire

Bad Sex in Fiction award announced.

Jenna Jameson nominated for “best performance by a human” in national Video Game Awards.

Class Action

Sex in the classroom sounds like a decent day at school
to us. And if it had actually happened, one New York University video-production class would have had aspiring cinematographer Paula Carmicino to thank. Sadly, this week the student’s proposed final project was nixed by the school’s administration.

Ms. Carmicino, 21, planned to intersperse thirty-second clips of a couple having sex with scenes depicting more mundane activities, like watching television and reading the paper. The video, titled “Animal,” was intended to illuminate the ways in which we “censor ourselves during the day when we’re not having sex,” Carmicino said. (Unfortunately her original concept, which was intended to depict the strict avoidance of undergrad artwank twaddle, never got out of the gate either.)

Earlier this week, the school newspaper published a front-page article decrying the injustice. Now half of the university’s undergrads have a new cause, because, you know, bitching about taxes, Medicare, the cost of prescription drugs, or the war in Iraq is so passé. We’re all for sex in public places, but maybe Ms. Carmicino should make life a little easier for herself and learn from fellow student Lisa Estrin. Estrin, 19, apparently made a film showing simulated sex between two stuffed toys, Minnie Mouse and Lamb Chop. Now that’s art. — Tobin Levy

Law & Order: Special Restrooms Unit

When waiting in line for the bathroom, we hate women. It’s a miserable purgatory, standing in front of that locked door with the little stick-figure-in-a-dress on it (or maybe something like “cowgirls” or “shorties” if we’re in a saucier establishment). We even get a tad chauvinistic, thinking that maybe women are feeble-minded and vain and WHAT THE FUCK COULD SHE POSSIBLY BE DOING IN THERE IT’S REALLY NOT THAT HARD. Seriously. We’ve also had a few nasty altercations with men who resent us for using their ever-available restrooms. (Doesn’t go over as well in rural Greece as it does at our corner bar, let us tell you).

Well, someone at City Hall has been similarly irked. On Wednesday, New York’s City Council introduced legislation that would require large buildings and public spaces to have a two-to-one ratio of women’s to men’s bathrooms. This is the best idea ever. This is why we have governments. Concerns have already been voiced that, instead of building new restrooms, building managers will simply convert men’s rooms into women’s. We’re more concerned that the bitch who thinks it’s really important that she try on EVERY SINGLE shade of lipstick she owns RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE will be further encouraged. — Carrie Hill Wilner

Image of the Week

VGL XXL-HUNG FOSSILIZED OSTRACOD

in town this week only!

Special talents: exhibitionism, J/O vids, world’s oldest penis

Age: 500 million yrs.
Stats: Hung one-third of body length!!! C4URself!
Available for incalls; reasonable rates!

Contact: Dr. David Siveter, researcher, University of Leicester

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