Coffee's Bad For Your Breasts, Damn It


First things first, a disclaimer: if you're (un)like us and hopelessly addicted to coffee and haven't had yours yet this morning, you might want to skip this one...

...we wouldn't want to ruin your day before 11am EST.

Drinking too much coffee can shrink women's breasts, reports.

The study of 300 women by Swedish researchers from Lund University found a clear link between drinking coffee and smaller breasts.

Helena Jernstriem, author of the study, said drinking coffee would not shrink their breasts overnight and thus no worry is necessary.

She was quoted as saying "They will get smaller but the breasts aren't just going to disappear." [Food Consumer]

Of course, researchers have been bad-mouthing coffee and talking about the supposed health consequences of drinking it. But it's too late now-- practically nothing can stop anyone from drinking the Liquid Crack...

Commentarium (7 Comments)

Aug 05 09 - 1:30pm
Emily Farris

Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIIIIIIIIIT!

Aug 05 09 - 1:48pm
Lauren @ LifeStyler

I've drank multiple cups of coffee every day for the last seven or so years and haven't noticed any discernible difference in my breasts. They still look good to me.

Aug 05 09 - 2:03pm

Yeah, mine get bigger or smaller depending on whether I gain or lose weight. The coffee consumption never varies.

Aug 05 09 - 4:16pm

If that study had said it shrinks a man's penis, Starbucks would go bankrupt in about three days.

Aug 05 09 - 5:36pm

Sounds like another study from the Dept. of Obvious Research. Caffeine, usually found in coffee, is a diuretic, duh! It'll likely shrink breasts and any other part of the body that retains water, but that doesn't make for as good a headline.

Aug 06 09 - 1:25pm

How do I get a job researching breast size among Swedish women?

Aug 07 09 - 10:16am

Hahahahah. yeah right. well I'm obviously a rare case.