Miss Universe Swimsuit Competition: The Only Part Of the Pageant Worth Watching

Like Miss Albania here, we like our beauty contests like we like our bikinis: transparent. Let's not pretend that these shows are anything more than glorified spectacles of gorgeous women parading around in different Barbie outfits, and then act all shocked and outraged when one of them happens to have made money in a different sort of beauty trade. Instead, lets call it like it is and put up the pics: These women are hot, and they deserve some recognition for their, um, assets.

Miss France

Chloe Mortaud, proving that there are more hot women in the country than their first lady.

Miss Sweden

Renate Cerljen sort of makes it unfair that all the women (of every complexion known to man) have to wear the same swimsuit top and bottom, when she makes it look so good against her Swiss Miss skin.

Miss South Africa

Tatum Keshwar has legs that go from here to Timbuktu. No, wait, that's in West Africa.

Miss Venezuela

With that sexy, defiant strut, it's easy to see why Stefania Fernandez was named Miss Universe 2009.

<small>(Photos Via)</small>