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If you've tuned in at all to Mad Men recently, you know that the theme of this season is "pants-soiling horror." (Past seasons' themes: functional alcoholism and sexual threats, respectively.) But how can Matthew Weiner really go all the way with this new direction? Warning, spoilers await.
What was only hinted at last week with a frightening cut-away to Sally Draper getting all Lord of the Flies on us and wiping blood on her face was fully revealed last night with "Guy Walks Into an Advertising Agency." Sally Draper believes her dead grandfather is possessing both her baby brother and a barbie doll, a man got his foot severed by a tractor, and I spent one particular scene convinced that we would find Gwyneth Paltrow's head in a box. But where else should Mad Men turn for inspiration?
5. Poltergeist - Sally's already seen a monk burn to death on her television, so why not get sucked into it as well? Anything that happens there will only be about 50% as scarring as her regular childhood anyway.
4. The Birds - Because January Jones is one gene sequence away from being Tippi Hedron. And Betty's been asking for some avian violence ever since she (drunkenly, we imagine) shot at her neighbor's birds in season one.
3. Carrie - Sally again. Frankly, I will be shocked if she doesn't actually turn out to be a psychopath, and all of her rage needs to go somewhere.
2. The Shining - Normally when Don is really struggling to come up with some copy, all he has to do is down a martini, sexually harass every woman within a one mile radius, and then stare handsomely into the middle distance. But what happens when the ideas don't come? (Hint: it involves an axe and Pete Campbell.)
1. The Ring - Listen, people, Sally Draper scares the ever-loving god out of me. She is going to crab walk her way out of my television, and then she is going to kill me. Seven days prior, Joan will call to confirm my appointment.