After years of watching people throw fits for no reason other than they didn’t want to be dumped and trying every method known to humankind to avoid bad scenes/feelings, we’re pretty sure there’s no “correct” approach to breaking up with someone. How do you avoid having your ex go around bad-mouthing you and trashing your prized Raggedy Ann doll from kindergarten?
The Daily Telegraph just ran a story called “How to break up” that has some good advice… and, as usual, some you’ll completely disagree with in your loudest and most vitriolic internet voice. We know you want to…
1 Don’t shift the blame
When your feelings for your partner change, one of the ways it manifests is a behaviour called “distancing”…
2 Don’t make them dump you
Avoid forcing your partner to do the breaking up when it’s you who wants to leave, Aiken says. People sabotage their relationships in a number of ways, he says: reducing sex and intimacy, flirting inappropriately, putting their partner down, drinking and drug taking, going out or having affairs.
3 Avoid the old clichés
It’s not you it’s me; I’ve got too much work on; I need some space right now… avoid clichés at all costs. It just leaves your partner’s mind searching for answers.
4 Say it to their face
Breaking up by phone, email, text, or by changing your status on Facebook is just plain disrespectful.
We’d like to add that standing someone up by text or e-mail is also disrespectful, despite what far too many members of the “younger generation” believe. There’s a reason your Scanner bloggers mainly date older men and women…
To see what else the write had to say (and read the full explanations for each of the above examples), click here.