Not a member? Sign up now
Who In Their Right Mind Would Wear The Robert Pattinson Panties?
By James Brady RyanOctober 30th, 2009, 3:05 pmComments (2)
Like some eldritch demon from beyond the edges of our universe, these new, Robert Pattinson-themed underpants will make you insane the moment you lay eyes on them. Sorry.
God, Edward Cullen is just so dreamy, right? I already have posters of him all over my walls, but what about when I want him to be closer? My mom says if I get a tattoo she'll ground me until I'm married, and I have to go to the homecoming dance or I'll never get to impress Chad Borofsky. I know! I'll just put his face on my undergarments.
I actually would like to know who made this happen, because I think that person needs to spend the next two-to-five years writing out apologies to everyone with an internet connection:
[caption id="attachment_13380" align="alignnone" width="416" caption="I CAN SEE FOREVER"]
[/caption]
Why does this fill me with existential dread in a way the sparkly vampire dildo did not? It's probably because that is a real person's face, for one, and because the fact that tween girls will be like, SO EXCITED!!1! to put Robert's face down by their business is disturbingly and uncomfortably sexual. This madness has to stop, people.
Commentarium (2 Comments)
At first I laughed when I saw that his face was on the outside of the underwear. Then I scrolled down and saw his mouth on the inside. Ewww.
oh come on, seriously? Boys this same age are old hands at looking up porn on the internet and you're getting your knickers in a twist over knickers?It's a picture! and yes, tweens are sexual. Babies are sexual. We humans are sexual - it comes naturally, it's not introduced to us through marketing.
Now you say something