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Man Sues Axe Body Spray For Making Him Think He'll Ever Get A Girlfriend
By Brian FairbanksNovember 2nd, 2009, 4:31 pmComments (11)
It seems that Axe Body Spray is going to have to retool their whole "if you use our product, every woman in the world will instantly jump your bones, guaranteed" ad campaign. The Daily Record out of the UK is reporting that an Indian man has decided to sue Unilever, makers of Lynx (a.k.a. Axe, in many parts of the world), after he used their products for seven years and still hasn't gotten a girlfriend.
He accuses Unilever of causing him "depression and psychological damage" and says that he tried everything to get a girl... except maybe actually talking to one:
"The company cheated me because in its advertisements, it says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe. I used it for seven years but no girl came to me."
Hey dude, despite how far we've come as a species, women generally do not approach men and certainly not because they're using the same body spray as everyone else. The fact that you know that now should be worth more than the tens of thousands of dollars you're suing for, so let's call it a draw.
We'll leave you with this unforgettably awful quote from a lawyer who has nothing to do with the case, who weighs in with a totally irrelevant remark:
"There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don't attract women." [Daily Record]
Commentarium (11 Comments)
His "depression and psychological damage" is really the result of the realization that he's a sad sack who really believed the Axe would help. Budyy, Axe didn't cause your depression, but merely made you acutely aware of your loser-ness.
Plus, everybody knows that Axe is for high-schoolers. C'mon! If you're an adult and you use Axe.......FAIL!
"women generally do not approach men"
What happened to all that equality, feminists?
So, as a woman, I can say that I ran away from any guy that was wearing that classic wall of Axe.
He should be awarded $10k of punitive damages for those chocolate Axe commercials.
"What happened to all that equality, feminists?"
This IS equality. Women have been getting sold false promises for ages.
I used Axe body spray right before heading out to the beach, and suddenly about 100 beautiful women came rushing towards me from all directions crazy with lust for me. True story. It was unreal ... ps. I was the male model in the Axe commercial that had that storyline, so it was true. Ha. Nah, Im just messin. But I do use Axe and Im 45, so suck it.
Im not saying the ads are true to life but my girlfriend definitely gets worked up when i put mine on. No Joke.
This was a joke. It came from a fake new site similar to the Onion. Both the bbc and Australian newspapers fell for it.
And now you have, too.
He just hasn't met the huge crowd of women who love the smell of something that smells vaguely like mint, gasoline and canola oil. Y'know: Axe Body Spray.
Axe or no Axe: maybe he's ugly, poor, and his mom dresses him funny? Or maybe he sets off womens' gaydar?
He should have used WD-40 it works much better.
Now you say something