Scanner

Chris Brown Quits Twitter Because He Is a Child

Pin it

SPL84306_012

I’m sorry, children: please don’t take offense at that comparison. The most popular entertainer in the world in his own mind, Brown continued to show his restraint and levelheadedness this past weekend when he shared some very special tweets about the UNJUSTIFIED OPPRESSION he is now facing everyday of his life from one Walmart in god-only-knows-where Connecticut:

alicia

Do you hear that, Wallingford? You just got put on notice. Be warned.

whining

What the fuck do you gotta do, Chris? It’s as if there’s some kind of big difference between you and Alicia Keys, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what it is. Do you think it’s because she’s a woman? Maybe you’re suffering from reverse discrimination? It’s probably that. I guess someone told Brown that he was being a fucking idiot and he needed to cut that shit out Brown realized his own mistake and took action to prevent future incidents. Because now he’s off Twitter completely, saying:

I WANNA THANK MY FANS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT. I LOVE YALL. GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is truly a sad day for delusional twelve-year-olds everywhere. I’m including Chris Brown in that.