The Grammy Awards are this Sunday, readers, and as I looked over the list of nominees, it hit me: Taylor Swift looks a lot like a gelfling. But it turns out that pop’s perky princess has more than one twin in the fantasy world. I’ve found six.
6. Pan from Pan’s Labyrinth
I think it’s something in the eyes. Swift is much more comely than the sinister and mysterious goat man, but they both share…a certain squintiness at times:
I think it comes from having thick lashes and/or being a nature spirit.
5. The Blood Elf from World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade
Maybe the curly hair is just a way to hide her pointed, Horde-loving ears.
But if Swift weren’t so sweet and sugary and sparkle-shimmer innocent, she could throw some mean looks with those arched eyebrows before she kills your worgen shaman or whatever.
It was the inspiration for this list, and the comparison becomes even clearer when you see Swift with almost the exact same haircut:
Watch out for the skeksis! I say this because there is a five-to-one chance that Lady Gaga will be dressed as one for the Grammy Awards.
3. Samantha from Bewitched
I know that while she has magic powers she still looks like any old human, but I’m writing this list and I say she counts.
This is probably one of the comparisons Swift herself would be more pleased with, unless she has a thing for Jim Henson puppets. I won’t judge you, Taylor.
2. Arista, Ariel’s sister from The Little Mermaid
Trust me, this is a character that exists. And what do you think this list speaks to more: Swifts otherworldliness, or fantasy’s unoriginality when it comes to creating female creatures?
Side note: don’t search for Disney characters with safe search turned off. You will see Ariel’s breasts.
1. Taylor Swift
Yes. The number one magical creature that looks like Taylor Swift is Taylor Swift, because she is not only a song-writing, literary-metaphor-mixing teen idol, but also a sunshiney music pixie with immense hypnotic powers. I mean, have you seen the video for “You Belong With Me”? Probably, because it’s been watched over sixteen million times just on YouTube!
Truly not of this earth. So tune in to the awards Sunday night to see if Swift comes out on top or reveals she has the wings of an eagle and the body of a lion or something.