The Three Most Hilarious Things That Came Out of the SAG Awards

3. Mother-fucking Betty White, you guys. She picked up a lifetime achievement award Friday night, and she was everything you wanted her to be - hilarious, kinda raunchy, and antagonistic towards Sandra Bullock. As she said, "Isn't it heartening to see how far a girl as plain as she is can go?" Here is the montage of her work (which goes on forever, because Betty White has existed since the dawn of time and will continue to exist until the last star fades from the sky, god willing) and her speech, which goes on for a while but is totally, totally worth it:

2. This headline from the Huffington Post:

It's not actually insulting, obviously - it's flattering more than anything, but my immediate thought was of this woman (Stana Katic) shrieking, "But I'm beautiful! How could you think I was Mischa Barton!?"

1. Sandra Bullock wins Best Actress for her work as Sandra Bullock with blond hair and a Hee Haw accent in The Blind Side. Look, guys, I don't hate Sandra Bullock - I feel like her body is literally, physically composed of 45% likability and you can't fight science. But I just cannot stand behind this when people like Carey Mulligan and Gabourey Sidibe did such amazing work in An Education and Precious, respectively, and Bullock sounded like a someone from Real Housewives of Atlanta in a feel-blah sports movie that may as well have been subtitled Return of the White Man's Burden.

I guess this could be considered something she earned after such a long career, but remember that career includes The Net. I wanted to find an example of her acting in that movie, but the best I can do is a fan video made from clips of The Net and set to music by Evanescence. That should really tell you everything you need to know. Enjoy?