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The Best And Worst Ways Saturday Night Live Could Use Betty White
By James Brady RyanFebruary 19th, 2010, 2:01 pmComments (30)
The "Get Betty White On Saturday Night Live" movement has been picking up steam - enough to get the amazing woman herself to comment on it (sorry guys, no nudity). This is exciting, of course, and it seems like the kind of thing the new, Internet-friendlier SNL might actually act on. But if they do listen to reason, we have a whole new bag of problems to deal with. White's natural comic timing and willingness to call herself a whore guarantee that she'll be worthwhile, but the same can't be said about the skits, especially considering the shows current reliance on recurring sketches. Below, our suggestions for the best and worst ways to use Betty White.
Best: The Lawrence Welk Show
I'm thinking Kristin Wiig's "creepy baby hands" character has maybe one more skit in her. After that James Franco appearance (which proved that while he can do many, many things, singing isn't one of them), why not hand the reins over to someone who knows her way around a variety show. It helps that she actually could have been on the real Lawrence Welk Show.
Worst: Gilly
Everything with Gilly is terrible. Moving on.
Best: Celebrity Jeopardy
Would bringing back Will Ferrell for this sketch be a big deal? Yes. But people, so is Betty Motherfuckin' White! And yeah, a classic like this one pretty much guarantees a few laughs for old times' sake, but White knows her way around a celebrity game show or twenty. And she plays a great ditz, as my shrine to Rose Nylund should attest.
Worst: Surprise Lady
Here's the thing - a lot of Kristin Wiig's sketches require the audience pay her almost all the attention. Betty White's time is like fresh water 200 years in the future: wasting it is punishable by death.
Best: The Kissing Family
The first step in this process is recognizing that most recurring sketches on SNL maaaaaaybe shouldn't be. How many times can you watch someone get introduced to a family that gets way into each other's business? The answer to that question, of course, is exactly as many times as it takes to see Betty White get to first base with half of the SNL staff. You know she's up to it.
Worst: Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals
There would be nothing for her to do here.
Unless?
Unless she played Mark Wahlberg instead of Andy Samberg.
Best: Weekend Update
Betty White is the most entertaining when she is playing "Betty White." She's like the older, female version of Neil Patrick Harris in Harold and Kumar - dirty, bad-mouthed, and a total bitch. If they can't come up with someone else for her to play, just get her to play herself! In fact, I would watch an hour and a half of just that.
Best: Parody Show
They're going to want to do something with Golden Girls. Resist that impulse. You're professionals, people, so look beyond the obvious: Golden Palace. Get it done.
Musical Guest?
Something tasteful. Ghostface Killah?
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Saturday Night Live
Commentarium (30 Comments)
Betty White should get topless on SNL.
I think a parody of the Golden Girls would make my year
Betty White and Ghostface would be amazing as a music video. My life has new purpose.
Best thing would be for Betty to substitute for ugly, unfunny Samberg in all the sketches.
yeah, pull 'em out, betty
Giiiiiiiilllllllleeeeeeeee?
I like the Celebrity Jeopardy idea. But I'd also like to see Betty do something on her work with animals. Perhaps she should try to get all the men at SNL spayed to get the message out about spaying and neutering your animals.
That would be fun.
I LOVE BETTY WHITE!!! SUE ANN NIVENS ON THE MTM SHOW FROM THE 70's and ROSE NYLAND ON THE GOLDEN GIRLS: SHE IS A GREAT OLD BROAD.
Amazingly lame attempt at 'crowdsourcing' - I'd write ideas and skits for SNL -- only if they pay.
Unless they're broke, so who is propping up that show and why...
http://crowdsourcing.typepad.com/
(in short, it's thievery - - then wonder why nobody has any money to spend. Leeches.)
Betty White doing a music number w/Lady Gaga. Imagine her outfit!! She'd be game, too. I love Ms. White cause she is game for just about anything. And she has something a lot of younger comics lack. Her sense of comedic timing! It's absoulutely stunning. That's why she's so well loved. I hope SNL gets her on the show soon! I would totally watch that!
laser cats
SNL get cracking and make her the host soon! Donate money to one of her animal charities too.
Earth to vectorbabe: you spay females, neuter males. Get a dictionary. Or marry a veterinarian.
Betty White holds interviews for her new Boy Toy. He must demonstrate his physical prowess and his ability to get along with her menagerie. Get some esoteric choices for the animal stock. And by all means, throw a couple of gal cast members in to "audition." Hell, get Sandra Bullock to come out for it, too! In the end of this bizarre Dating Game, who will Betty choose? Bachelor #1, Bachelorette #2, or will she risk it all for what's behind Door #3?
The skit should be Betty White plays Charlotte from sex and the city at 80. Since sex and the city is just a rip off of golden girls.
A Golden Girls parody would make my year also...
Betty White is a living tv icon. She is also hilarious. How can there not be room for her on a comedy series which has seen better days. She'll pull everybody up (Just like in Boston Legal.)
How about Betty White playing a diva designer (Donatella) If she were on it would be a definite Emmy Award winning show!
I want her to cuss like a sailor. Bleeped out of course.
She is just so cute when she does the potty mouth thing.
She looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.
Actually I think it would be "middleless" at this point , not "topless". She definitely has her sag card.
Den Mother of the Cougars, except that the young boys find her desirable, unlike the middle-aged cougars
Going back in time, Betty White starred in "The Golden Girls", "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and way before that, there was "Life With Elizabeth". Betty White was my first love! She was so beautiful and incredibly funny. Because of her, I became the prototype for one of Conan O'Brien's skits; I was the original "Masturbating Bare".
3 words: Regular cast member.
They should bring Rue McClanahan in for a cameo!
No... the reason why the Celeb Jeopardy skits are funny is because it's other people playing them. They never use the celebs themselves. So, unless you think Betty White can be someone else, let's keep camera hog Will off the stage. His time is served.
how about the Happy Homemaker and get Mary and the gang on?
Remember the 'Reagan' skit? Where he was cast as a dolt then when the doors closed he took off as a 'with it' leader?
Opening scene: White as a latecomer to a NBC board of Directors meeting. Betty's in charge. Makes decisions such as the Jay Leno fracas etc. Meeting adjourned and Betty leaves NBC incognito. Arrives at CBS headquarters enter Their Board of Directors meeting - informs them that she has nailed another nail into NBC's coffin.
Would love to see Betty White on "Weekend Update" with a cooking segment as Sue Ann Nivens. I'm sure she could think of a thing or two to do with Seth Myers that may involve a whisk or a grater!
Doing parodies of "The Golden Girls" and/or "The Mary Tyler Moore" show would be obvious choices, but poor writing could make them disasters! I think she would make a great checkout person to work with Kristen Wiig's character at Target.
If there is going to be any game show parody, it should be of "Password," the show hosted by her late husband, Allen Ludden. Betty probably has some great stories that could be woven into a very funny segment.
I'd like to see them bring back Jane Curtins bitch attitude to the weekend up date. keep up the great work BETTY WHITE!!!!!
What? SNL is still on the air?