Image Of The Day: Law Degree For Sale

Yeah, those that make it in the law are workaholic geniuses (or brilliant marketers). Most people aren't cut out for it.

nah. he is not a seriously crappy lawyer. he's like any other lawyer who has practiced law for a significant amount of time. you come to a road where you have to decide: 1) resign to the fact that you'll be miserable being someone or some entity's mouthpiece, doing shit you dont believe in, processing a lot of bulsshit paperwork, never having time to spend the $ you've earned (which if you do that math, for a salaried attorney and the hours expected of you to "bill" it comes out to about as equivalent as that dood who graduated with his GED posting ad's on CL to provide guitar lessons and you resign to this horrid existence for the money, prestige, or that nice frame they put the ivy league paper in and mount on the wall and smoke a fucking cigar and continue to build the tire around your waist so you can die of a heart attack at 55 or suicide at 56. OR 2) You acknowledge this life of solitude and being nothing more than therapist for fucked up rich people who try to fuck up other rich people b/c they probably fucked up some unknown rich 3rd party or his wife or boyfriend (that's not a sexist comment, men in the job buy their trophy wives, but women keep boyfriends b/c men cant seem to live w/ the fact that she has to work 80 fucking billing hours per week just to not get canned next round and pay for the house) and say to yourself, FUCK IT. i do not want it and you walk away, scot free. i vote for the latter. i did it. i've never felt so free in my life.

At its core, legal practice is about helping a client avoid, manage or end conflict - all the while conscious of more-or-less written down rules. If that appeals to you, you can be happy being a lawyer. But in my experience, the happiest lawyers are the ones who manage to be busy but still have enough time to do what they like. Many of my happy lawyer friends are government attorneys, and I think they're happy because in most cases a government employer can't compel you to work 60+ hours per week. A government lawyer gets paid just so-so, but that's kinda the deal isn't it? I think in most professions or jobs, six-figure salaries aren't paid because you're a master of the-most-efficient-or-smartest-40-hour-week - they're paid because you're always working overtime, or because even when you're not working, you're expected to be on a short leash. My friends who are happy working for private firms are typically the people who really get off on having (even if they aren't using) toys and ridiculous financial security. Most of my private-firm friends aren't happy.

The idea that a specific career is objectively right or wrong for everyone is ridiculous. I'm very happy being a lawyer, and I'd be miserable as a fiction writer. I worked full time at a big firm for six years and mostly enjoyed it. When the hours started to grind me down, I became a professor and practiced part time. I went in house for a period and am now back in private practice at a small litigation boutique and teach law as an adjunct. I really like my life. My billing rate is sufficient that if I work half time, I can easily support my wife and son, and maintain the beautiful house in which we live. The people who HATE HATE HATE legal practice are usually the ones who went to law school for the wrong reasons -- liberal arts majors with no marketable skills, avoiding the real world for another three years, "you can do anything with a law degree" (true, but you can do anything without one, too, except practice law, so if you're not going to, why waste your time?), my parents want me to, I can't do math so I can't be a doctor or MBA, etc. The only reason to go to law school is because you want to do the kinds of things lawyers do.

Some of what I enjoy about being a lawyer: storytelling -- litigation is about crafting your client's story and presenting it; writing -- I really make my living writing essays; travel -- my practice has taken me to Europe, South American, the Middle East and of course around the U.S.; performance art -- oral argument, teaching in a classroom, it's all theater; helping people -- "ooh, how can you represent mean old corporations?" Easy. Corporations are filled with people. They have problems. I help them to solve their problems. Colleagues -- I've liked most of the people I've worked with and even a number I've worked against. On average, lawyers, I find, think and express themselves more clearly than non-lawyers, making them more interesting to talk with. There's no reason the guy trying to sell his Ivy League degree couldn't have had the same experience I did, if that's what he really wanted.