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Third Grader Lists Out the Ninety "Types of Bitches"
By James Brady RyanMarch 5th, 2010, 10:54 amComments (42)Well, isn't this charming? A teacher in a school in D.C. found this magnum opus on the floor of a third-grade classroom. Nothin' like getting the kids started on the misogyny early in life. I will give the kid this, though: I wouldn't have even had the concentration to write out the the first five entries in a list this long in third grade.
The other pages can be found here, and you wouldn't want to miss out on such rational and thought out entries as "Protecting their store bitches" (number sixty-eight) and "Short bitches" (number eighty-nine). I do hate it when women protect their store.
And, for the record, I'm a number fifty-nine. What kind are you?
Commentarium (42 Comments)
Sounds like a girl wrote this.
No, sounds like a BLACK girl wrote this.
Apparently this kid has 99 problems...and a bitch is all of them
Hhahahaha, this comment made my night
protecting their store bitches! those are the WORST.
Interesting idea, Mandy - I admit I just assumed it was a boy (for content/handwriting reasons). But I guess it could just as easily have been written by a girl.
I like how 'think' and 'thing' are pretty much interchangeable on this thing (think?)
I agree with Mandy. I'd bet money that a girl wrote this... not sure if it could be a third grader though.
With the handwriting and bitch #10, I'd say girl
I'm betting it was some really disgruntled older sister of a third grader.
For the record, I find this hilarious.
Aside from the depressing implications (a 3rd grader wrote it, kids growing up too fast, etc.), It's kind of great, no? There's a little bitch in all of us.
I thought "uncreative bitches" was kind of cute. It reveals something of the writer's knack for critical thinking.
I'm voting 26 as my absolute favorite. Who is with me?
@Runyon I second that
What about list making bitches? And what is #18? "Instigating" bitches? Brilliant.
List making must be #100! :P Guess she didn't get that far!
um, wow? ya it is kinda funny - in the abstract sense, but that kid needs a swift one to the ass. I can't even imagine a 3rd grader (that's 8 yrs old people) writing this! I realize that life isn't all sunshine and lollipops for some, but man, someone's parents f*cked up. wow. my son would be grounded till he was 30 if he ever wrote this, same if it was a daughter. and I'd make him sit in his room and read - because this is an intelligent, literate child - being wasted. oh and I'm kinda a #20.....lol.
no way a 3rd grader wrote this o.O but definitely written by a girl.
According to my gay friend (Bitch #59) I'm #25: Spanish bitches who think they all that because of their hair. I don't even know what that means, but I laughed my ass off when I read it.
"#25: Spanish bitches who think they all that because of their hair." I will warily venture a guess — perhaps it has something to do with straight vs. curly hair
I smell a movie deal in the works... "Ninety Types of Bitches, starring Mo'Nique, Dakota Fanning, and Taylor Lautner"
As a former sixth grade teacher, I would bet this was done by someone older than a third grader, just because the handwriting/spelling/grammar are too good (or at least too consistent) for me to believe that someone that young did it. Then again, it could have been a very bright, precocious even, third grader. The handwriting seems feminine as well.
i'm pretty sure this is from the drunken master song "50 niggas deep" and this is from the bitch's verse
I self-identify as a (5) ain't got no ass bitch, a (12) ain't go no damn sense bitch, a (28) big eyed looking bitch, a (29) crazy bitch, a (31) booty shorts wearing bitch.
Can this be real? If it is I think it was written by a 15 or 16 year old. I've seen pieces of a similar caliber in similar handwriting written on the desks at my high school.
I call bullshit...check out this from the comments:
Strelnikov Says:
March 5th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Last April this list appeared on a blog and it was attributed to a sixth grader in a Baltimore charter school.
http://s10.zetaboards.com/SOTF_V2/topic/603683/1/
Whoever wrote it they know their stuff
This girl be one creative bitch alls I got to say!
Hey, her spelling's pretty good for a third grader!
obviously a black girl, aged 11-16, wrote this. Anyone who says otherwise is just full of shit.
"obviously a black girl, aged ..... " blah blah blah.
Is that your professional opinion? Who cares what race the girl is?
This is some funny shit! Shut up and laugh! That's all that matters.
what about them "who you calling bitch" bitches
I'd say black girl wrote this...
Wow, is all i can say. That must have been one boring lesson!
I think shes african american and over 11 but is still in 3rd grade because of her attitude
so to get this straight.. you're a bitch if you are:
1. Short or tall
2. Got short or long hair
3. Dumb or smart
4. Pretty or ugly
5. Strong or weak
..Hm.. am I missing anything else..? Now, to answer the question, how can anyone be a "bitch" in this given these?
I'm a twelve and a seventeen.
since when is this news? Damn, someone sure doesn't have a clue. What has Obama done lately? Or the war? This is childish at best.
"40) Wearing shoes that be talking bitches" WTF?
Where are the rest of them? They said there was 90 of them?
Too bad that kids are not kids any more. They want to b grown up and try to act like one. This way they wind up just plain idiots. Whose fault? Only God knows the real one at fault. Could it be Parents? Teachers?" Friends? Just qustionable. Pray that it is ot carid through the rest of their life.
That's perfect that we are able to receive the loans and that opens up completely new opportunities.
Now you say something