break_upIDUMP4U.com is a new site that does exactly what it sounds like: it sends someone to do your dirty breaking-up for you. No more will dumpers (wrongly) feel it's better to disappear off the face of the earth than to have a sad or tumultuous scene in a restaurant with your soon-to-be ex. No more will you have to cringe when changing your Facebook status back to "single." (Why do people have that kind of information on there anyway?)

I Dump For You is the brain child of a 35-year-old Iowan bearing the fitting name of Bradley Laborman. For $10, Laborman will do the breaking up for you by using the old-fashioned telephone system, still the only remotely appropriate way besides an in-person meeting to end a relationship. Unfortunately, he's also kind of a jerk, according to this story:

He posts some of the heart-wrenching, sleazy and just-plain-uncomfortable recordings of the calls on his YouTube channel.

But, one has to admit, he's doing the world a service in some respects:

Who are your clients?

I’ve had college kids, I’ve had older people. I think I had somebody who was at least 40 in a breakup situation. Surprisingly, it’s a lot more female – a lot more females are dumping males.

What reasons do people give you for why they don’t want to break up with their partners themselves?

It’s fear. I had one guy who couldn’t do it because every time he tried to do it, he’d end up having breakup sex with her and get back together. He didn’t have the willpower to break up with her. I think a lot of them have tried a couple times to break up with the person, and it’s just not getting through to them. [Globe And Mail]

It's a way to get back at cheaters, as well. You do not want to miss this actual recording:

What do you think of this guy?

Commentarium (12 Comments)

Mar 08 10 - 2:45pm
Dan

Hey, Michelle, I just got an interesting phone call...

Mar 08 10 - 2:45pm
SK

I think its a good service. Helping people and being funny at the same time!

Mar 08 10 - 2:50pm
JK

It's reverse-Hitch.

Mar 08 10 - 4:18pm
gr

weird,but kind of funny and scary,too

Mar 08 10 - 4:38pm
Wow

Horrible. So insensitive, I can't believe someone would actually hire a dude to do this.

Mar 08 10 - 6:48pm
NOH

If your too chicken to just dump the guy then maybe you should not be an adult but what sort of person thinks up something like this and what sort of person uses this service. Personally I think the girl in question made up this allegation the the guy who really is getting dumped is really worried he is in for several months of legal hell.

Mar 09 10 - 1:57am
PO

Yeah, pretty funny. But if you don't have the stones to dump someone yourself, you proooobably shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. Breaking up is part of the cycle by which both parties learn a little something before moving on a little wiser, and a little better for the next one.

Mar 09 10 - 11:41am
thinkywritey

You folks are naive. People are naturally lazy and cowardly. This comes as zero surprise.

Mar 09 10 - 6:37pm
lol

daaaaaaaaaaaaag... that was nuts! "do you get that Michelle is breaking up with you?" "uh, I guess so..." LMAO

Mar 10 10 - 4:41am
@thinkywritey

I'm naturally lazy and cowardly, but damn do I make sure to break up with people properly, so I can sleep at night.

Mar 10 10 - 10:11pm
Eric

If I got that call I would assume it was a joke, and even humor the guy to get rid of him. She still has to tell me in a mature adult conversation, or at least ignore me. The vindictive asshole in me would make sure of that.

Mar 11 10 - 12:27am
R

That is so made of awesome- the ultimate in outsourcing....