Snooki Isn't Even Actually Tan, Is Anything Real?

Look, we can live with the fact that most of The Jersey Shore (except for the police charges) is probably faked for the cameras. If the soon-to-be-canceled Hills taught us anything, it's how sometimes reality can bloom from the cracks of even the most hardened, silicone sidewalk. If that makes any sense. So finding out that Snooki and JWOWW weren't even Italian? That hurt, because here we've been fighting the good fight to let these kids self-identify as Guidos if they so desired, because you know...it's okay when they say it...and it turns out that they're basically just regular people. WTF!

And now Snooki is making some extra J-dough on the side by hawking self-tanner. Which on the one hand -sure, what other product would Snooki be selling? Pickle juice? - but on the other makes us wonder what color she really is underneath all that orange. Is she just...white? We feel so lied to.