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Ronald McDonald And 5 Other Mascots That Need To Retire Now
By Josh KurpApril 1st, 2010, 4:30 pmComments (29)Clowns are creepy, from Tim Curry in It to that middle-aged drunk in face-paint who came to your eighth birthday. And it appears that America's clown-hate is finally boiling over: According to a survey released by Corporate Accountability International, forty-seven percent of Americans want McDonalds to retire their longtime mascot, Ronald. Many are anti-Ronald because they claim he appeals to kids and so causes childhood obesity. Others think he's creepy, and we tend to agree. In fact, while we're the subject, here are five other corporate mascots that should go away:
Chester Cheetah
Between the orange powder on his paws, referring to himself as "Papa Chester," and his new-found "sexy" voice, he's more drug dealer/pimp than a snack-food-selling jungle cat. Also, in what context is "Give Daddy a Kiss" not weird?
Dig'em Frog
In the late-'80s, Dig'em was replaced by Wally the Bear as the mascot for Honey Smacks. But due to popular demand, the frog was brought back a year later. Why? What does a frog have to do with honey cereal? I like my mascots to make logical sense, like Jared from Subway.
Trix Rabbit
I know it's not in the spirit of Easter to pick on a defenseless bunny, but he's been trying to steal cereal (from children!) since 1954. To quote Elmer Fudd, "Kill the wabbit!"
Chicken of the Sea Mermaid
There's nothing wrong with this Ariel-wannabe, except that she's much too sexy to be associated with canned tuna. Retire her!
E*Trade Baby
When you're getting into fights with Lindsay Lohan, you know it's time to go. Plus, he's creepy.
Commentarium (29 Comments)
Not sure if those counts, but I think most will agree that those GODDAMN FOOTBALL ROBOTS ON FOX NFL MUST DIE!!!!!
How about all of the Faux News clowns?
Yeah, because the rest of the libtard media is any better at being objective. Oh that's right they aren't.
damn robots...
I dunno ... even if cheetah is creepy, the [witch] in the Cheetos spot got what she deserved, though what did any of it have to do with snack food items?
I'd like to see the GEICO Gekko disappear.
Re. Chester the cheetah: Sure, some of his commercials feature snarky revenge (cheetos in the laundry of the bitchy woman), but some are just outright asshattery- e.g. making a mess on the neat-freak co-worker's desk. What the hell? He didn't do anything to you, you (*^&@#% junk food psycho!
This list lost creditability when I got to No. 3. I hope you are haunted by Captain Crunch & Count Cocula for this injustice.
Michael: 1) you misspelled Cockula, 2) I hope Count Cockula haunts my dreams tonight!
The Aflac duck needs to go. NOW.
True story: The local pedophile did 'clown ministry' at my church ie: dressing up as clown Jesus for the kid's story and pantomiming the Easter story. Scary shit!
These are indeed annoying, but I can think of a few that are downright offensive...the Land o' Lakes "Indian Princess" and the Lucky Charms leprechaun come to mind...so does Uncle Ben. And is it really possible that there are marketing people who still think Aunt Jemima is a good idea?
I'd vote for the Burger King guy dressed in a plastic mask and acting creepy as one who needs to go.
hmmm...would Matthew be pushing an ideological agenda of some sort? Silliness. However, Papa Chester rocks!
Isn't Aunt Jemima kinda racist?
E*Trade: The babies gave us the admittedly awesome nickname, "Shank-o-potamus," but now it's time to move on.
And yet nobody has mentioned that anyone who has nothing better to do than take commercial mascots seriously needs to get a life.Oh and that most of the products are marketed for children so it's the parents responsibility to say no or yes to them.
I think I just lost a few brain cells from reading this article.
Hands off the e-trade baby - he charms my wife while I watch football! The one that really has to go, preferably in a fiery automobile crash, is the Burger King guy with the plastic head.
"Other’s think he’s creepy"? It's not even a accidental omission - someone made a conscious effort to add an apostrophe to "Others"...
Since when does Ronald McDonald cause obesity?
How about some parental responsibility for what you feed your kids?
You can come out of McDonalds with apple slice and a salad if you want.
And let's not consider the irreparable harm caused by Ronald McDonald House.
The Ronald McDonald house is a society sucking charity that overpays it's executives but still charges grief stricken families the priviledge to stay there.
Last year my family had an experience staying at the local Ronald McDonald house while our 12 year old son underwent surgery. My wife and 8 year old daughter fell asleep the first night but woke up screaming 20 minutes later. I ran down the hallway to their room, and there was a 6'2" Ronald McDonald standing next to their bed, with blood dripping from his famgs. Who knew he had FANGS? His hair was so freakin' ridiculous I couldn't quit laughing, so I just had to gasp at him to get the fuck out. The blood got on their pajamas and is now permanantly stained so there is ONE form of irreparable harm done. Not to mention that my 8 year old freaks out every time she see's the golden arches, and an actual Ronald sighting give her nightmare for a week.
What needs to stop is the "rebranding" of the mascots. Like it was mentioned above; Chester Cheetah's new voice. Add the GEICO Gecko's suddenly British accent.
For a long time it gave me nightmares......Having to witness and injustice like that. It was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be. I can still hear them taunting him..."Silly rabbit trix are for kids." How come they just couldn't give him some cereal?
Well, that was a waste of 30 seconds.
i like chester and the Etrade baby they're hilarious
also Nfl robots and burger king guy are kick ass
and finally the trix rabit just wants some fucking cereal just give it to him, they can go buy another box
The only clown worth keeping around is Krusty. Kill the rest!
yeah!!! & have homer do it, he's good at that
(it's in 1 of the treehouse of horror ep)
@Michael-if you are going to correct ones spelling, make sure YOU are correct. It is not Count Cockula..(sounds like p0rn movie) it is Count Chocula dumbass. As in Chocolate. Not Cockolate