Today In WTF: Mustache Expenses Will Soon Be Tax Deductible

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Usually, when people write things off on their taxes, they’re for business expenses like “dinner with clients” or “travel accommodations” or “nightclubs with bottle service and wild BSDM action.” But you know this.

And now that our taxes are all reported for and squared away, of course we ran across this. A bunch of Salvador Dali and/or Martin Van Buren wannabes are trying to write off the expense of mustache maintenance on their taxes. The guy spearheading it, John Yeutter (who's a tax policy professor which, you know, helps) is pushing for a $250 a year tax incentive for everyone in the American Moustache Institute, the weird, mustache friendship circle he created. Yuetter presumably feels that tiny combs and very special shampoos are things he should be recompensed for.

I hope you get what you want, Mustache Institute, but what about larger, more well-known advocacy group: The Association For People With Faces and Hair? Are our trips to Sephora tax-exempt now? Can we write off pricey moisturizer and conditioners on our taxes? I think the government should start by giving us money for maintaining a basic level hygiene, before we get it for the daily primping of the expensive jokes we keep on our faces.