Survey: Eight Percent Of Librarians Have Had Sex In An Elevator

Perhaps only second to French maids or naughty nurses, the sexy librarian has been a standard fantasy since - we imagine - the invention of books. But, at least those of you who have actually visited an actual library, might have pondered the basis of this stereotype. Well, friends, wonder no more:

Back in 1992, a librarian named Will Manley surveyed 5,000 of his colleagues about sex, both in their lives and in the library. Doing the survey basically got him fired, and the not exactly explosive—but frankly awesome—results have been kept sort of under raps since then. But now he’s retired, and the whole thing is on his blog.

It’s all pretty adorable. Twenty-two percent of librarians thought condom machines should be installed in library bathrooms (for their own use, or for the use of patrons, I wonder?) and seventeen percent thought libraries should carry X-rated movies. Forty percent were in favor of carrying Playboy, but only twenty-three percent thought Playgirl deserved shelf space. And twenty percent of the librarians said they’d had sex in a library (compared to seven percent who reported doing it on a plane).

My favorite part: Thirty percent of male librarians said they would have sex with Roseanne Barr to propagate the species in the event of a nuclear war. Way to step up, guys! The female librarians were a little more selfless: thirty-eight percent said if it came down to it, they’d do Peewee Herman. (Uh, yeah, it was definitely the early 90’s.)