We mentioned earlier that dimwitted Esquire readers voted Adriana Lima, born and raised in Brazil, the third most gorgeous/beautiful American. To thank us for continuing to promote her career in increasingly ridiculous and spectacular ways, Lima sent us these nudes photos of herself she took a couple years ago with the following compliments, roughly translated from Google Translation:

"Thank you Scanner Brian. If I hadn't married that Serb guy in Jackson Holy Wyoming, of all places, I would have married you. Or whatever idiot it was that put me up for that vote. Muchas gracias, or whatever thank you means in Portguese."

Obviously, I just made that up. Except for the part about Jackson Hole, Wyoming, which is apparently where she got married last year. Bizarre.

Commentarium (13 Comments)

Apr 20 10 - 10:38am

I'd vote her 3rd most beautiful human.

Apr 20 10 - 10:45am

I don't get it. She's beautiful, but in my opinion, up amongst the most beautiful? I've dated women at least as gorgeous as her.

Apr 20 10 - 10:46am

Let's see now... A Brazlian woman who looks like a skinny little boy of 14 is voted America's most beautiful woman. You Yanks sure have a sense of humor. Next you'll have "free" health care. Oh, wait, you do. Well then, next you'll be wandering around political rallies with loaded firearms. Oh, wait you do. Bwaaaaaaahahahahah

Just how fucking stupid are "you people"?

Apr 20 10 - 10:59am

Hey Twolane, don't lump us in with loonies who carry loaded handguns go to events with the President of the United States and wonder why people are worried.

Apr 20 10 - 11:17am

These photos are from Ellen von Unwerth's book Wicked, where Lima is nude for about 30 pages. It's pretty fantastic work. I wouldn't turn a black light on near my copy.

Apr 20 10 - 11:25am
G Unit

Hey Twolane Christina Hendricks was voted most beautiful, not the Lima woman. Now I have to get back to cleaning my HK 45

Apr 20 10 - 12:01pm

Ass Dan - Congrats. Give yourself a big pat on the head from us. And a gold star.

Twolane - yes that's right, all Americans are exactly alike and homogeneous. Just like whatever second-rate has-been country you're from.

Apr 20 10 - 2:25pm

Ass Dan, hahaha

Apr 20 10 - 4:02pm

@G Unit: Why are you wasting your money on German hardware? What's wrong with a good old American AR-15?

Apr 21 10 - 1:22am

FYI it's "Muito obrigado" in portuguese.

Apr 21 10 - 3:13pm

Those pics are weird, they actually make Adriana Lima unattractive to me, which i would have thought was impossible. But then short hair always has that effect.
@Twoland, if 14 year old boys look like her where you come from then i can sort of understand the catholic priests.

Apr 28 10 - 2:19am

@Meh- gas system, can't put a folding stock on it, 5.56 NATO, and it's been banned in a couple states.

I'd rather have an M1A.

Sep 28 10 - 6:34am

Can you take out your pantis and pants too