Archie Introduced A Gay Character. I Rewrote His Dialogue.

I am going to get my ass sued off by Archie Comics.

(No joke — check out their history of lawsuits!) That being said: when I saw that Archie was introducing a gay character, I knew what I had to do. No way would he be the cutting, cynical power bottom I hoped for. I had to take matters into my own hands. The originals can be found here, but I think mine are more fun:

I mean, it's obvious Jughead is a secret 'mo. Dude wears a crown everywhere. And, apparently, capris.