It will feel like "Sandstorm" pounding thunderously into your skull for thirty minutes. And then the sweet release! The sweet release of turning off your TV, but not a second before because you need to understand exactly who this "Emilio Massela" is and why it feels weird that Spencer Pratt is attached. Summary: Snooki dumps her en-muscled twenty-one-year-old boyfriend Emilio Massela by voicemail. Shortly after, Spencer Pratt approaches him — we imagine in the street and on the saddest possible square block of West Hollywood — asking Massela to be on his show. Not wanting to disturb Pratt further (who looks just so, so sad, you know? Not like he’s going to cry, necessarily, but like something’s really bothering him), Massela says yes: put me in your show. Then there were some cameras and a loud boom and then we couldn’t see anything for a while, and now Spencer Pratt is executive-producing Fistpumping For Love.
They just started shooting this past Wednesday and the breakup happened, literally, eight business days before. It follows Emilio on his quest for "a real guid-ette." Good luck?