Last Friday, Scanner Brian brought us new of this fantastic new product, and it's been on my mind all weekend. Here are some thoughts:

Sometimes I feel like my whole life is one big fart blanket, you know? I'm sorry -- I mean "marriage blanket." Sometimes I feel like my whole life is one big "marriage blanket."

Things I don't like about this product #1: the name. Can I not buy this unless I'm married?
Things I don't like about this product #2: its pro-marriage agenda. I guess my problem is still with the name. Am I not allowed to fart in bed with a friend unless I have a paper document that says I can, America? (America and The Better Marriage Blanket are the same thing.)
Things I don't like about this product #3: You mentioned something about chemical warfare in a really flippant way and you made it about a fart blanket.
Things I don't like about this product #4: You called farts "offending molecules." No one calls farts "offending molecules."

 

Commentarium (3 Comments)

May 03 10 - 3:04pm
JK

Science is awesome.

May 03 10 - 3:12pm
Dan

I love how they call it a real product for a real problem.

May 04 10 - 12:37am
khali

maybe they could re-market as the "not-just-a-one-night-stand sheet." personally it's not smell so much as sound that i worry about.