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New Retirement Plan: Commit A Crime In Norway

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So, we’ve all heard about Roman Polanski’s cheese chalet of a Swiss prison, where he languishes in the Alps, guarded, no doubt, by clog-wearing Heidi lookalikes. But, I figured you had to direct a few critically-acclaimed films, or be friends with the president of France, to get that sort of treatment.

Apparently not. A new 252 million dollar prison in Norway – for ordinary prisoners – features a rock-climbing wall, an indoor running track, flat screen TVs and mini-fridges. It’s set on seventy five bucolic acres and decorated with some pretty beautiful art.

Basically, it’s nicer than my apartment.The social theory behind this model of prison – it’s more about rehabilitation than punishment – actually holds water, and it’s certainly more humane than its American counterpart. Our prison system doesn’t do much other than teach criminals how to be better criminals (a totally real fact I know from watching Johnny Depp in Blow).

But still, it’s pretty comforting to know that if  I don’t have the self-discipline to actually "save" for retirement, I can just go to Norway when I’m sixty-five and do some murdering.