Women’s Facial Expressions Explained: Know What Your Girlfriend Is Thinking All The Time

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Women have, what, twelve expressions? Yes, women have twelve expressions. But it’s hard to know exactly what they’re feeling because like I said, there are twelve of them: twelve feelings that women feel.

Luckily, all women share identical sets of emotions and express them in an identical fashion, so there’s nothing to fear. Still, it’s hard to tell when your girl is displaying a case of Number Six Derision, which happens when you "refuse to pay an extra $100 for a hotel room with a better view," or a Number Seven instance of Asking Nicely, such as when you "promise [her] something then change your mind." Regardless, all twelve of her emotions are contingent on you, Man, so don’t fuck it up by not buying her things or by saying that "your secretary’s dress is better." Because the over-arching sentiment of all women, naturally, is jealousy, but it would have been obnoxious to put it on a chart.