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How Can I Destroy My iPad? Experts Ask

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It’s the greatest problem us first world millennials face. That and unemployment, but really, how I can destroy my expensive thing for no reason? You could use it as a skateboard and then act shocked when the screen cracks.

Or, you could stuff it inside an industrial strength blender and set it to liquefy. (Be careful, the fumes are noxious — you did just reduce your iPad into tiny aluminum grinds because you felt like it.)